Life Is Messy But Love Is Messier
by Eanna Malkavia
Summary: Reid/OC/Hotch centric. Romance/Family/Drama Reid and his girlfriend Hannah have been living together in an open relationship since college per Hannah's request. She can't help who she loves, and she and Hotch have been ignoring the sparks. Things get interesting as everyones' secrets start to come out and they have to deal with what's going on. Semi-canon. Episode equals chapter.
1. Extreme Aggressor

Life Is Messy But Love Is Messier

Chapter 1

**Extreme Aggressor**

Spencer Reid woke up when a crash and a curse carried into his room from the second bedroom. Down the hall, Hannah rolled off the bed again. That happened sometimes after a night out drinking with friends.

"Spencer!"

Also, Hannah's blankets tangled around her when she slept drunk. Spencer grinned and pulled a bathrobe over his bare chest and pajama bottoms.

"I'm coming Hannah! Don't struggle with them."

Hannah sat amongst the tangle of bedsheets, staring at the ceiling. She smiled at him when he walked in. Everyone fell in a kind of love with her smile. Her joyful personality and good looks helped too. Blue eyed, tan, five feet eight inches, and brunette, Hannah looked stunning in the simplest outfit. Sometimes Spencer didn't understand why she fell in love with him.

"Sorry I woke you."

"Don't worry about it."

"How about I whip up some breakfast?"

"Deal." Spencer said with a smile as he disentangled Hannah from the sheets one lanky limb at a time.

"Thank you." Hannah said as she stretched and hugged him.

"Tell me again why you won't make the bed in the proper manner, with the sheets tucked in under the mattress?"

"My legs suffer from claustrophobia."

"Okay little bird."

The childhood family nickname annoyed her but Spencer used it anyway.

"Hey!"

Hannah grabbed a pillow, but Spencer ducked. They wrestled for it and ended up on the bed, Spencer straddling and pinning Hannah. Neither one moved for a few seconds. Then Spencer kissed her. Hannah pulled off his bathrobe and he slipped his fingers under the tank top. For the next several minutes they did nothing but kiss and caress and undress each other. They hadn't done this in months. When they decided they needed a break, Hannah moved into the other bedroom.

They met in college, at age seventeen, and characterized their relationship as on again, off again, and open. Neither one saw anything wrong with that.

After enough foreplay passed, Hannah grew impatient and sped things up. Spencer got the message and pulled her closer. While certain things touching his skin bothered him, Hannah always felt right.

Half an hour later, Spencer stepped into the shower while Hannah floated downstairs and raided the fridge. He arrived in the kitchen dressed for work and sniffed the air.

"This smells good. Reminds me of college."

Back in college, Hannah developed a coveted gift. Opening a sparse refrigerator, she created a decadent meal out of whatever she found inside. Others students called her up and described with they had or just showed her. All their college friends idolized her and spread her legend. Freshman knew her name and school email after a month. Soon the dorm residents started keeping copies of a few creative recipes.

"All colleges should offer freshman a course in the art of kitchen foraging."

"You could teach it."

Hannah laughed.

"Damn right!"

Hannah loved cooking and Reid loved that about her. He also loved the fact that she put up with his social ineptitude. Hannah didn't mind leading him through social rituals and always knew when he needed out. Few people created better escapes from parties than Hannah.

They ate in silence. No one ever talked during a meal of Hannah's creations, not until it all vanished. Hannah slapped together a delicious smelling breakfast from the few things they had. They needed more groceries, and tonight. Spencer planned on joining her for that before they continued what they started this morning. He hoped the team didn't get called out of town for a case. Given Gideon's trauma in Boston months prior, Spencer thought that wouldn't happen.

Spencer washed up the dishes once they finished. As he rinsed, Hannah snaked her arms around his waist and kissed the back of his neck. Hannah alone knew about that spot.

"Can we talk tonight?" Hannah said into his back.

"Yes."

Spencer thought he knew what she wanted. Turning the romance back on. He liked that idea. Turning around, Spencer kissed her, and Hannah returned it in kind.

"We'll go shopping for food tonight and I'll make dinner." Hannah straightened his sweater. "I'll call you when I'm leaving the University."

Hannah taught graduate level literature courses at Georgetown. She aced everything in school, and graduated at fifteen, but loved literature more than any other subject, earning two Ph.D's in literature to Spencer's three in chemistry, engineering, and psychology, and for the past few years, she toyed with several ideas for her third.

"I'll wait for your call." Spencer said before he kissed her forehead.

She loved that gesture.

Hours later, Reid set the file for their newest case on his desk and stared at his cell phone. A case cropped up in Seattle. Reid had dinner plans with his girl, but the girl in Seattle had just a few days left to live. He knew Hannah would understand.

"Reid, we leave in two hours. Go home and grab your go bag." Gideon said on his way out of the office.

Everyone removed their go bag from the office after Boston, leaving them at home. Now Reid had some time to talk to Hannah before the team left. Almost an hour later, Reid found Hannah at the kitchen table with school papers spread across the surface. She wrote up a grocery list, ignoring the papers.

"Hannah?" She looked up and grinned, but sensed something wrong. "We're going back in the field. Seattle. We leave in one hour."

Her face shifted into that intense look she wore while on a role, writing long into the night. Not disappointment, but determination and resolve. Hannah knew what working with the FBI in the BAU entailed.

"Go catch the sonofabitch."


	2. Compulsion

Chapter 2

**Compulsion**

Things became a little complicated after Seattle. Spencer hid his feelings from his team about their cases and the unsubs they chased. Living with him, Hannah always saw the aftermath. It didn't matter how well he hid those feelings, Hannah still read him like a kindergarten picture book. After he returned home, they talked and turned the romance back on, but Spencer acted different. He held her like a glass doll and that drove her crazy.

Hannah recognized these symptoms. The newspaper articles about the case proved it. The rape cases troubled him. He thought not all men act like monsters and so he acted better, making up for those monsters. It happened before, after every sexual abuse case Spencer ever worked. It frightened her. She feared one day he might lose himself, the wonderful, dorky, nerdy, awkward Spencer Reid that Hannah fell in love with the night they met. Hannah felt blessed with Spencer, but he worried her.

She worried that someday something very drastic would happen, that would change the Spencer Hannah loved by turning him into someone else. Hannah feared that upcoming day and resolved she would never let him go over the deep end. More FBI agents suffered from burnout than those who escaped it, more so in the BAU. In the meantime, she worried about the team working out in the field again. Spencer already suffered from the effects of their latest rape case. Jason struggled after Bale and his encounter with the Footpath Killer. Elle Greenaway made herself at home in DC, and set a new record getting on Hannah's nerves.

"Why don't you like her?" Spencer said one night after they returned home from a team BBQ at Hotch and Haley's house.

"Elle's a snob, Spencer. She thinks so damn highly of herself. I can't believe Aaron and Jason put her on the team."

"Elle's smart. She helped us catch the unsub in Seattle."

"I'm not denying her intelligence Spencer. I'm just pointing out that she acts so damn conceited. I have a double Ph.D and she acted like I'm inferior. So what if I don't find psychology as fascinating as she does? I'm not interested in it. She rubs me the wrong way. Does she rub anyone on the team the wrong way? You know, Jason told me that she acted impatient in Seattle until she followed her gut, and I can still see her acting the same. She wants another case out in the field."

"We all do."

"You want to go back out there?"

"Of course." Spencer said, but Hannah turned and walked away from him with an angry huff. "Hannah!"

"I hate the field! You bring it home with you. I know you try not to, but you do."

"How do I bring it home?"

"Ever since you got back from Seattle, you've treated me like a victim!"

"No I haven't. You're not a victim."

"You're acting like I'm made of glass." Hannah turned around and pointed at him. "After every rape case you work, you do it. And you keep doing it until another case takes the place of that nightmare. I love you, Spencer, and I know how crucial your job is, but right now the BAU is driving me mad!"

Spencer stood frozen for a moment.

"Do you want me to transfer?"

"No! I don't want you to transfer. You do important work. I want you to stop shutting me out. I want you to talk to me, include me, not leave me to figure out what the hell happened out in the field by reading you and your actions and the newspaper articles."

"You want me to talk to you about my cases?"

"Yes, if that's what you need to do so you can talk to me about what's troubling you."

"No! Absolutely not."

Hannah crossed her arms.

"Why not?"

"I've never brought that home before and I won't bring it home now."

"Damn it Spencer, you can't shut me out forever!"

"Hannah, I'm trying to protect you!"

"Stop! I don't want that. I know what's out there in the world and I can handle it."

"No, you can't."

"Well thank you for making me fell like a fucking five year old."

"Hannah, I didn't mean it like that."

"Goodnight!"

Hannah left him standing in the living room. As he followed her up the stairs he noticed she walked past their bedroom, heading straight for her old room. She slept there when they agreed on a break. Or fought.

"You're going in the second bedroom?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"I'm too angry to sleep next to you after that."

"You're mad at me?"

"Goodnight Spencer!"

Hannah slammed the bedroom door behind her.

The next morning, Hannah slipped out before Spencer even woke up, a common occurrence following a fight. On her bedroom door he found a note: _I'm not asking for the gory details, just __that you talk to me. I'm here for you, but are you here for me?_ He put the note in his pocket, but before he could apologize, a new case flew the team to Arizona.

* * *

Gideon waited until the rest of the team dispersed at the airstrip before he put a hand on Spencer's shoulder.

"What's going on with you and Hannah?"

Spencer looked shocked for half a second before he turned his head away and stared at the ground.

"How did you know?"

"Because I know the two of you."

Gideon didn't mention the student campus security guard he talked relationships with and how that helped him refocus on the small behaviors of the unsub. That conversation also helped Gideon pick up on Spencer's very mild behavior changes that always followed a fight with Hannah.

"She wants me to talk to her about the cases instead of shutting her out."

"Then talk to her about the cases. She wants to give you a healthy way to unload."

"That's healthy? Talking with her about what we see and what we deal with?"

"Reid, Hannah's much stronger than you give her credit for. Remember, I've met her parents too."

Spencer laughed. He loved Hannah's parents, but they had an odd way of preparing their children for the real world. Hannah and her siblings called it 'Scare Tactics'. They watched films about drug abuse, eating disorders, runaway teens and teen pregnancy all before starting junior high, and participated in tours of treatment centers. Their psychologist parents worked with patients traumatized by differing kinds of abuse and never wanted their kids going down those dangerous paths, so they gave them reality checks wherever and whenever possible. One of the many reasons Hannah chose the path of literary analysis in college and avoided higher level psych classes. She knew it all, but didn't have the interest like she did for Literature, one reason why Hannah's request shocked him.

"Hannah left me this note."

Spencer pulled the paper out of his pocket and passed it over.

"I love how to the point she is." Gideon said with a grin. "Talk to her. Open up to her. She can handle it."

"What if Hannah can't handle it?"

"She would have talked you out of joining the BAU instead of supporting you. Reid, Hannah's always there for you. Make the same effort. Go home to her."


	3. Won't Get Fooled Again

Chapter 3

**Won't Get Fooled Again**

Spencer followed Gideon's advice and opened up with Hannah. Seattle, Arizona, Boston, his first case. He even spoke about a few he consulted on or observed while at the Academy. Once he started, he couldn't stop. Releasing all those pent up emotions through talking felt good. Hannah listened the way her parents taught her, helping him heal those old wounds he hid from her for so long. She handled the entire thing rather well in Spencer's opinion.

After he talked himself hoarse, Hannah brought him a cup of chamomile tea with honey, and one of their favorite shared novels as they climbed into bed. Spencer grinned when he saw the cover, _The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy_. Appropriate bedtime reading after what he'd just shared with her. It countered the seriousness of their talk with its absolute absurdity. As one of his favorites, he'd read it three times, and he didn't mind the normal pace Hannah read aloud at. She read very fast when she read for herself. Her father declared her a speed reader at the age of ten after she read four major newspapers over two bowls of cereal and a plate of toast, but she couldn't comprehend how Spencer could read as fast as he did. It amused her that he flipped through a new book in fifteen minutes, when she needed perhaps a day or a half.

Nothing he did infuriated her, besides not opening up after a case. Everything he did amazed her in some way, and she amazed him. Hannah created new voices for characters, some stolen from students in her classes. Spencer found that out after he sat in on a few of her classes. Tonight she had an accent for Zaphod Beeblebrox that caused honey chamomile to squirt out of Spencer's nose. They fell asleep happy and the next day, Hannah wished him luck when he needed to leave on a case again. Though she did grumble a bit about the nice sunny weather in Florida when Spencer called her.

* * *

When Spencer returned home from Florida, he found an agitated Hannah. When asked, she said her classes sucked, but Spencer didn't believe her. Bad days at school always caused her to go out drinking with friends. Always. She hadn't even touched her cell phone tonight.

When Spencer heard her crying in the shower he walked right in and pulled the curtain back. Hannah sat on the tile, arms wrapped around her legs, face buried in her knees. Spencer turned off the water, wrapped her up in a towel, and cupped her chin. She looked up at him.

"Hannah what's wrong?"

"It's Lily."

Lily. Hannah's four year old niece from her twin brother Matthew and his on again off again girlfriend Allison. The one child Spencer didn't freak out. She called him Pence and found the name hilarious. She also called him uncle. Lily didn't understand the complicated relationship he had with her aunt, even though her own parents had the same complicated relationship. At her age, Lily didn't care.

Of their entire extended family, just Hannah and Matthew could maintain an on again off again relationship with one person while pursuing other relationships. Spencer found it fascinating from a psychological viewpoint. Allison and Reid loved Matthew and Hannah and saw nothing wrong with the arrangement. Their parents on the other hand found the arrangement very strange and asked all four of them very personal questions. Even Spencer's team understood the dynamics of their relationship better than her parents did. Not that her parents didn't like Spencer and Allison, they just believed in monogamy while their twin children did not.

"What about Lily? What happened?"

"She has leukemia."

"A new study shows that has a survival rate of 90%."

Spencer blurted that out and felt terrible when he saw the look on Hannah's face.

"Spencer! I don't want to hear statistics right now."

"I'm sorry, the statistic just popped into my head."

"Lily's not a statistic!"

"Sorry. I swear I'll stop talking percentages." Spencer ran other numbers through his head but didn't say anything about them. "When did you find out?"

"At school today. Matthew called from New York. Allison called him after she took Lily to the doctor in Miami. Ally noticed some bruises on Lily that she got playing on the beach that wouldn't go away. I need to go down this weekend. If she needs a bone marrow transplant, I need to get tested. And Lily needs me. There's a flight tomorrow morning I can catch. My department dean told me to call if I need some days off next week."

"You think you'll stay down there past the weekend?"

"I think I might." Hannah stopped in the middle of her sentence and swallowed before she continued. "I think I might have to miss your birthday. I'm so sorry."

"It's just one birthday, Hannah. Go see Lily. She needs you right now more than I do."

"You can come with me to Miami. Just for the weekend. I'll make sure you're back by Monday."

"You want me to come with you to Florida?"

"Lily would love to see you. Please come. It will make her feel so much better. And we can celebrate your birthday a few days early."

"The weather is nice in Florida."

Spencer smiled when he saw Hannah perk up.

She looked much happier than she did five minutes ago. So happy in fact that she pulled Spencer into the shower with her. They laughed as she kissed his neck while Spencer tried propping himself up on the wet tiles and failed. Hannah giggled.

"The tiles are still soapy."

"Are you serious right now?" Spencer said as he failed once again and laughed. "Shower sex?"

"Absolutely."

"Last time I almost bruised my tailbone."

"I bought a thicker shower mat."

"Oh yeah, you did."

"Stop talking and get undressed."

* * *

Aaron sent Spencer a text about sunscreen and his hopes that the doctors find a match soon for Lily. After Hannah glanced at it, she sent a thank you back on her own phone and assured him he would see Reid on Monday.

Over the past three years with the BAU, he'd flown around the country on the FBI jet, so flying down commercial felt strange. He flew commercial Vegas and back and had not flown Miami since Lily's birth. The airport shops created a giddy feeling in him, like a kid in a candy store as he searched for the perfect gift for Lily. Hannah followed him, commenting on the possible gifts while Spencer kept track of every toy on every shelf in every store, their price, and their usefulness.

"Ally said Lily's obsessed with monkeys and gorillas right now." Hannah said twenty minutes into their shop hopping. "We should get her an orangutan or something. She'll love that."

"Why didn't you say so earlier?"

Spencer sounded annoyed and Hannah suppressed a grin at that rare emotion.

"Because I just remembered that conversation!"

"Do they even have any stuffed animals in this airport? I don't remember seeing one."

"Any kind of primate will do."

"I know!" With the goofiest smile she'd ever seen on him, Spencer said, "We could give heryou!"

"Wow." Hannah stopped in her tracks and stared sideways at him. "Spencer Reid, did you just crack a bad joke?"

"It wasn't that bad."

"A good joke is well crafted."

"I'll work on that."

"Joke telling?"

"Yes. What kind of primate should we get her?"

"The Mandrill Baboon."

"What kind?"

"The one with the colorful face."

"Oh yeah. But wouldn't that scare her?"

"No. It's Rafiki from Lion King. He's her favorite character." Hannah stopped walking and turned a full three sixty, taking in all the stores in sight. "We'll have to wait until we get to Miami. I don't think Reagan has the kind of shop we're looking for."

"We should take her to the zoo and get her a stuffed animal monkey there." Spencer corrected himself. "Baboon."

"Yes! Today. First thing." Hannah smiled and put her arm through Spencer's before she rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for coming with me Spencer."

"We don't see Lily enough."

Spencer knew how many days they had gone without seeing her, but didn't remind Hannah of the number.

"No. No we don't." She grasped his hand in her own and lead them back through the crowd towards their departure gate. "Tell me about the Palm Beach case. Take my mind off Lily."

"The bomber blew himself up because Adrian Bale told him not to let the police get him in custody."

"Bale?" Hannah stopped walking and glanced at the people around them before she lowered her voice. "Bale was involved?"

Spencer lowered his own voice.

"They were his bomb designs."

"How's Jason?"

"He's at the cabin this weekend."

"No, I mean how did he handle it once he he realized Bale was involved?"

"He saved Hotch and Elle and a few cops from the bomber and a victim with a bomb collar." Spencer lowered his voice a little more. "The best part is now that every prisoner serving with Bale knows how willing he is to talk to the Feds, he's considered a snitch. Gideon's pretty gleeful about that."

Hannah couldn't help but agree. She saw Jason in the aftermath of Boston, when Bale murdered six of his colleagues.


	4. Plain Sight

Chapter 4

**Plain Sight**

Lily gave Spencer the best birthday present ever, a bucketful of seashells. After the zoo and the Rafiki stuffed animal Ally ended up hunting through Miami for, Lily insisted they visit this beautiful little beach her dad found the last time he visited. Of course, her directions would have put them in the sea between Florida and Cuba if they followed them, so instead Hannah called Matthew while Spencer distracted Lily.

The beach looked beautiful, and so did Hannah in a new bikini Ally bought for her. Spencer walked through a couple of shops until he found some board shorts and a nerdy t-shirt that cracked up Hannah but sailed far over Lily's head. And he wore plenty of waterproof sunscreen. Morgan wouldn't let him hear the end of it if he burned.

All in all, they had a good weekend, except when Lily kept bringing up all the children in the cancer ward with bald heads. The thought of losing her own shiny gold hair freaked the hell out of her. When they didn't distract her with soft or shiny things, or the idea of her dad coming home for a few months instead of a few days, Spencer and Hannah spent all their time reassuring Lily that her hair would grow back. When that didn't work, Hannah told her she could have all the wigs she wanted. Red, black, brown, blonde, even purple or green. Once she said pink, Lily became really excited. She wanted that pink wig now. They settled with dyeing her natural hair pink. After the girls reappeared from the bathroom, Spencer studied the result and admitted Lily pulled the color off well.

On Sunday, Spencer accompanied Hannah when she saw Lily's oncologist about bone marrow. By the end of the meeting, he signed up with her for testing, even though he knew the very low odds of him and Lily matching.

"Spencer, you don't have to." Hannah said as they waited for the nurse and their draw their blood.

"She's my niece. I want to."

"But you and needles. Don't you remember what happened in college?"

"That nurse didn't know what she was doing. I'm not afraid of needles." A few seconds later Reid realized what she really meant and stared at her. "You thought I was afraid of needles?"

"Well you did whine about it for days afterward."

"She left a bruise on my arm. It hurt!"

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry. Thank you for doing this."

"I would do it for you too."

"And I would do it for you."

The nurse found them making out on the exam bed when she arrived, and instead of yelling at them, she just laughed until they separated. After that, the exam sped by quick.

"So we'll known in a few days if either of us match Lily." Hannah said as she rubbed her arm where they stuck her.

"Does the rest of the family know yet?"

"Matthew called them. They're all getting tested."

"When does he get back from New York?"

"Monday morning. You'll just miss each other. He says happy birthday by the way. And something about a wild night out on the town, just the two of you, next time he visits. What do you two do on your wild nights out?"

"I plead the fifth, but I will tell you that Matthew has interest in things you've declared very nerdy."

"I'm well aware of my brother's nerdy side."

"I still plead the fifth." Reid said again in a conspiratorial voice.

Hannah rolled her eyes.

She waited until they climbed into Allison's borrowed car before she told him her news.

"Spencer, I'm staying through next week."

"Okay." Spencer said as he turned on the car and studied the rearview mirror.

"I spoke with my Dean before we left. My students can take over my classes. I'll grade them on how well they lecture each other. They'll love it. I know they can pull it off."

"They will. They're smart. I like your students."

"They're goofballs."

"They're English majors." Spencer repeated a joke he'd once heard from a professor's wife. "I thought that was synonymous."

Hannah laughed and her eyes widened in that way that told Spencer he'd surprised her.

"Synonymous? Oh I could think of plenty of words for engineering majors, and chemistry majors, and mathematics majors! Do you want to hear them?"

"No, no," Spencer laughed as he held up his hands in an appeasing manner meant for calming down dogs and fierce women. "I'll stop teasing you, I promise!"

"Does your team know that you do in fact have a sense of humor?"

"They do, but my jokes never work with them."

"Just joke with them like you joke with me."

"I'll try that."

"Promise me that you'll try one more thing for me."

"What?"

"Ask someone out on a date. Someone meaning not me." Before Spencer could interrupt Hannah said, "Wait, let me explain. You've never asked anyone out. Try it. Go on a date. Experience a date with someone besides me."

"Are we off again?"

"For this, yes."

"How do I ask someone out?"

"Just use the words I used. Do you want to go on a date?"

"What will we do?"

"Dinner and a movie always works."

"Why do you want me to ask someone else out?"

"Because for reasons Matthew and I don't even understand ourselves, we like seeing more than one person, and you and Allison have always been fine with that, but you're the only one who doesn't see other people. Allison sees other people, but you don't. Spencer, don't you want to explore relationships with other women?"

"I'm not comfortable with other women."

"Will you please try it? Promise me you'll do it."

"Okay, I'll ask someone out on a date."

* * *

Monday morning Spencer stopped by his apartment, dropped off his bags, changed for work, and laid out the seashells in a shallow hot bath since he hadn't cleaned them back in Florida. He had worried that the TSA wouldn't let him bring them on the plane, so Hannah packed them in the bag that would go in the belly of the plane. Lily demanded he promise to name every single shell, and Hannah promised him a list of good names so he could concentrate on work.

First thing, Hotch asked about Lily. He'd met her when she and Ally stopped for a night in DC last year while on a trip to New York to visit Matthew. When Hotch learned of her cancer diagnosis the previous week, he offered Reid a few days off, but Reid declined. He knew Hannah needed a lot of alone time with Lily, and he didn't feel comfortable the Florida heat.

"Lily's doing okay for now. She gave me seashells for me birthday and we dyed her hair pink."

"Pink?"

"Yes. She wants a pink wig when she loses all her hair from the chemo." Reid said, "Hannah and I both got tested to see if we can donate bone marrow, and the rest of the family will do the same."

"Good. I hope everything goes as well as it can for Lily."

"Thanks Hotch. How's Haley?"

"Hormonal. It's very interesting."

"The pregnant female body is fascinating. I remember when Allison was pregnant with Lily, she would-"

"Reid, I know. I live with one."

Reid nodded and stopped talking about pregnant women.

* * *

The birthday cake looked delicious, but the trick candles annoyed him. The hat too. Reid blamed Morgan. He would have his payback and oon. As JJ cut the cake, Reid left the others around the cake for a minute as he joined Gideon.

"You having fun?"

"Yes. Definitely." Reid lied. "I am definitely having fun."

"Make a wish?"

Reid glanced up at the monstrosity on his head.

"Can I take this hat off?"

Gideon glanced at it too and kept the grin off his face.

"I wouldn't."

Reid nodded and said the next thing on his mind.

"I want Lily to survive her leukemia."

"Good wish. How's Hannah handling it?"

"She's down in Florida for the week." Reid glanced at the team before he continued. "She called us off. Again. Temporarily. Said she wants me to ask someone out. Made me promise her I would do it."

"Interesting girlfriend."

Gideon meant it. He understood Hannah better than Reid did at times. She loved him, and sometimes Gideon felt that she loved him more than she could bare.

"Yeah."

Reid smiled, and Gideon suspected Reid knew what Hannah meant by this request.

"Hey Spence." JJ held up a plate with a big slice on it. "First piece for the birthday boy."

"Did you know she's the only person in the whole world who calls me Spence?" Reid said with a grin as he left.

Gideon smiled. He had an idea.

* * *

"I have come to summon you away this night." Reid recognized the line of poetry from his mother first of all, and also from helping Hannah study for a poetry class in college. "It's a ballad from the late sixteen hundreds. A dialogue betwixt Death and a lady."

"A seventeenth century ballad."

"Essentially a woman begging Death to live."

Elle mentioned the first idea that popped in her head.

"What kind of person knows this ballad? Are we looking for a literature professor?"

"Anyone with an internet connection actually." Reid smiled as he said, "You should see what comes in when you type the word Death into a search engine."

"Reid, no wonder you can't get a date." Morgan said, "Besides Hannah, of course."

"Hannah showed me what comes up when you search for Death."

"And she teaches literature. Makes sense."

Gideon interrupted before Morgan pushed Reid's buttons even more.

"Reid, you stay on the messages. See if there's a deeper meaning."

* * *

"God I hate waiting like this." Elle said.

Reid looked over her.

"Do you think it's weird that I knew that ballad?"

"I don't know how it is that you know half the things you know, I'm just glad that you do."

"Do you think that's why I can't get a date?"

At this, Elle glanced over at Reid, and for the first time started analyzing him. She knew the rule about profiling team members and ignored it for a minute.

"Have you ever asked anyone out?"

"No."

"That's why you can't get a date." Her statement made perfect sense too, until she remembered Reid met and started dating Hannah almost eight years ago, and he lived with her for most of those years. "Wait, you didn't ask out Hannah?"

"No. She asked me out."

"Cool girl." Elle said and hoped Reid knew she meant it.

Elle knew Hannah didn't like her, and while she liked Hannah just fine, Elle doubted their chances as friends.

"Thanks." Reid said and brightened up.

"You know what you should do? Why don't you ask her out? Surprise her. She'll love it."

"I have to ask someone else out first."

"Okay."

Elle nodded like she understood, when in fact she just grasped the dynamics of the relationship that the rest of the team had told her about in segments. Sometime soon she needed to hear the whole story.

* * *

"I almost forgot, I have something for you."

Gideon reached into his bag and pulled out a small, wrapped box.

"Oh yeah?"

"I forgot to give it to you at the party."

"But you don't give birthday presents." Reid struggled with the packaging before he lost patience and ripped it off, revealing the contents inside, two tickets. "Wow. The Redskins."

"That's the VIP box."

"Thank you so much."

"Ever been to a pro football game?"

"No, I honestly didn't know this was football."

"You're gonna love it."

"We are." Reid said as he stared at him. "You're coming with me, right?"

"No. Someone else on the plane who's a huge Skins fan."

"Who?"

"The only person in the world who calls you Spence."

After a moment, Reid realized who Gideon meant and looked back at JJ.

"JJ?"

"She's a huge Redskins fan."

"What should I say?" Gideon just smiled and didn't answer, but as Reid stood up he wondered aloud about something. "Is this because of what Hannah asked me to do?"

"Partly."

Nodding, but not agreeing with Gideon, Reid moved the last piece of the game.

"Checkmate."

* * *

Asking JJ out felt good, but difficult and a bit weird. Getting the words out felt like agony. He felt comfortable with Hannah whereas he couldn't help but feel nervous around other women. He did have a crush on JJ, but never told Hannah. He knew she suspected.

Since Hannah made him promise, and Spencer suspected she conspired with Gideon, he went through with it and asked JJ out. And after the speed at which JJ said yes, even before he showed her the tickets, Spencer suspected she knew about the agreement too. Not that he minded. Spencer found football fascinating, from a mathematics and statistics view point, and he found JJ's presence comforting in large crowds. While he found the game fun and JJ a pleasant companion, Spencer missed Hannah, and wanted her back home.


	5. Broken Mirror

Chapter 5

**Broken Mirror**

When her plane arrived, Spencer met Hannah at the gate with two surprises in a small white bag. The first, pictures he'd just developed from his football date with JJ, proof he fulfilled his promise. The second one he found just three days ago, before the game.

"Don't ask me how long I spent trying to find this." Spencer said as he pulled a long, thin black box out of the bag.

"A necklace box?" Hannah brightened, as she had a weakness for jewelry. "What kind of necklace?"

"Do you remember in college when you got drunk with those Russian girls in our apartment building?"

A short fit of giggling accompanied Hannah's nodding.

"Yes. How could I ever forget that night? I ended up worshipping the porcelain goddess and lost my necklace down the toilet."

"I found it."

Spencer smiled as he handed her the box.

"Found what?" Hannah slid the ribbon off and peeked under the lid. "Oh my God."

Hannah snapped the lid shut, but stole another glance inside. She did this several times, until Spencer cracked up at her reaction and laughed. The next thing he knew, she wrapped her arms around his neck and they almost toppled over.

"You like it?"

"I love it! Where in the world did you find it? I've looked everywhere for a replacement." Hannah glanced up with a suspicious look. "Wait a second. Tell me the truth. Did you find this or did Penelope find it?"

"I did, but Garcia helped a lot. I told her what you wanted and she just set the search parameters. I combed through pages and pages of results every month to find this. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find the perfect diamond snowflake?"

Silence followed that question until Hannah removed the necklace from the box and studied it under the sunlight streaming in from the airport windows.

"Diamond? Real diamonds? Seriously?"

She looked up, awaiting an answer, and he nodded.

"Yes. They're real diamonds."

"Oh my God. Thank you so much Spencer!" Hannah kissed him on the lips. "This is perfect. And it looks nearly identical to the one I lost."

"I decided to get you one that looked at least ninety percent like yours."

"This one looks ninety five percent like it. It's so beautiful. Thank you."

Hannah turned around and lifted her hair of her neck. Spencer checked that the necklace faced the right way before he clasped it closed.

"Just don't drop it down the toilet like last time."

Spencer teased and Hannah turned around.

"Don't let me wear it when I'm drunk."

"Hannah," Spencer put his hands on her shoulders as he looked her in the eyes. "I'm never letting you wear this necklace to the bar."

"That's a genius idea." Hannah said, "No necklace and bar at the same time."

The kiss she gave him this time went deeper than any kiss they'd shared in awhile. Spencer held her close and that's when Hannah sensed it. She ended the kiss and stepped back.

"Hannah," Spencer looked at her, confused. "What's wrong?"

"What case did you just work in the field?"

The kind she hated. Spencer knew he'd slipped up with the way he held her. So, he lied.

"Home invasion in San Diego."

"Don't call a rape a home invasion and expect me to buy it Spencer. Damn it, you know I hate it when you treat me like a glass doll after these kinds of cases!"

"What do you want me to do Hannah? What do you want me to say? I'm sorry?" Spencer grabbed her as she turned away and pulled her against his chest. "I love you Hannah, and you're the only woman I've ever loved. I see the dark side of something so special and I could never imagine hurting you."

"Just when I want to be angry with you," Hannah said into his chest. "You say something like that and sound like a poet and a prince."

"What do you mean?"

"It means I can't stay mad at you." Hannah lifted her head off his chest and looked Spencer in the eyes. "But don't mistake mad with upset.."

"Wait until you hear the other surprise I have for you."

"What surprise?"

"Will you go out with me?"

Though she tried not to, Hannah couldn't help but grin.

"Spencer Reid, are you asking me out on a date?"

"Yes."

"When can we have this date?"

"Is tonight too soon?"

"Tonight is perfect, but if Aaron calls you in, I'll kick his ass."

"He won't. I told him about tonight and he said if a case comes up it can wait until morning."

They had a fantastic time on the date. Hannah threw herself into the role of the girl on a first date, but for Spencer she broke her first rule of never sleeping with someone on the first date. The date turned Hannah on. As soon as they inside their apartment Hannah pushed him against the wall and kissed him. A minute later they closed the bedroom door, their clothes left in a path from the front door.

* * *

"So what happened with you and JJ at the Redskins game?"

Morgan loved teasing Reid about girls.

"Top secret." Reid said a moment before a female agent after Morgan saved him from any further questions.

"Derek."

She smiled when she said his name.

"Hey."

Morgan smiled back.

"Hey." She stepped in between Morgan and Reid. "I put the transcript from the last prison interview on your desk."

"Okay. It wasn't classified rush. You could have sent it interoffice."

"I could of."

She grinned again and walked away.

"Must be tough man."

"Not really."

"What do you mean? You don't even do anything and these women are throwing themselves at you."

"Strictly off limits Reid."

"There's no code of conduct that says agents can't socialize."

"Well you see my code of survival says never mess with a woman who carries a gun." Morgan stepped closer and lowered his voice. "Besides, I'm not the one seeing two women at once."

"I was not seeing Hannah and JJ at the same time!" Reid said a bit loud, but no one looked over at them. "Hannah and I were off and she wanted me to ask someone out so I asked JJ."

"Okay, okay, I take it back! You two certainly have an interesting relationship."

"It's not that strange. Monogamy is mostly a Catholic or Christian practice and neither of us is religious, not that I slept with JJ because I didn't."

This time Morgan looked around, checking if anyone heard that, but no one overheard Reid.

"Ok. Good to know."

* * *

When Spencer entered their townhouse after the kidnapping case, Hannah woke up when he walked straight into the dining table. The light in the bedroom blinked on and Spencer heard the distinct sound of a hammer cocking back on a gun.

"Spencer? Please tell me that's you."

"Yeah, it's me, you can put the gun away."

"Why didn't you turn on the light when you opened the door?" Hannah turned on the hallway light for him and another one in the living room as she joined him.

Spencer just stood where he stopped and stared at the offending table.

"That table was not there when I left for work yesterday."

"Sorry, I forgot to tell you I did some rearranging. How did the case wrap up?"

"The unsub has erotomania, and he wanted both identical sisters, but we caught him and found the girl."

"Erotomania?" Hannah shivered and accepted Spencer's embrace as she whispered into his chest. "God that's scary."

With psychologist parents who liked sharing horror stories from patients and scaring their children on tours of rehab centers and institutions so they could keep them on the straight and narrow, Hannah and her siblings didn't have average fears. Sure they had some normal phobias among them, heights, spiders, bees, rats and the like, but also the fear of certain disorders they had seen tear so many people apart. For Hannah, abusive, possessive men, and the obsession created out of love became one of her greatest fears. Erotomania scared the hell out of her.

"Don't worry." Spencer knew a light tease would snap her put of her dark thoughts and said, "I'm not obsessed with you."

"That's good to know, because if you did I'd have to tell you I have a gun and I know how to use it." Hannah teased back, speaking of the beautiful revolver her grandfather gave her on her eighteenth birthday, the same gun she cocked upstairs when she heard Spencer crashing through the dining room.

"You still sleep with the gun under the pillow when I'm gone?"

"And in the bed stand when you're home. Are you coming to bed? I'll move the gun out from beneath your pillow."

"I'll be up in a few minutes." Spencer looked around the living room and dining room area. "Why did you rearrange?"

"I had some students over."

"For what?"

At two o'clock in the morning and startled out of a good dream, the question sounded stupid and annoying, so Hannah rolled her eyes, a gesture Spencer caught, and gave the most sarcastic response she could think of.

"Dinner, Spencer. Didn't you know you're dating a cannibal? Check the fridge for leftovers. Help yourself, but hands off my breasts." Hannah clapped a hand over her mouth and her eyes widened. "That was awful. Where did that joke even come from? What is wrong with me?"

She fled up the stairs and Spencer laughed as he answered her question.

"You get really sarcastic and tell inappropriate jokes when you're tired."

"Thank you Captain Obvious!" Hannah said from the staircase. "Turn off the lights as you come to bed."

"What did you and your students do?"

"We watched The Chronicles of Narnia from the BBC. Good night!"

Spencer loved her warped, middle of the night sense of humor, and the fact that it embarrassed her when she said things like that. He yelled up the stairs.

"I love you Hannah!"

The sound of her footsteps stopped, and a few seconds later she whispered back, the smile present in her voice.

"I love you too Spencer."


	6. LDSK

Chapter 6

**L.D.S.K.**

The quiet under the gun range headphones felt like fresh air and warm sunshine after the crazy day Hannah worked through at Georgetown. Her administrator had a crazy notion in her head that coincided with her time of the month, which caused all the faculty in the department to lose their minds, leaving Hannah the sole sane professor. Her students didn't help. They sat through their classes with the collective attention span of a house cat on catnip.

Hannah almost asked them if they could share their joint with her, but stopped before the words could tumble out and give her a reputation she might not ever escape from. She hadn't smoked a joint since the day after she earned her second doctorate degree. Matthew surprised her with it, but their parents caught them and told her professors couldn't smoke marijuana. They told Matthew he couldn't share his medicinal pot with his sister anymore, then disappeared back inside the house. They let him smoke because pot kept his anxiety levels down, and it also helped him write his songs. A family friend wrote him a prescription while they were still in junior high. Sometimes Hannah despised him for it, and until the night her parents forced her to quit, she raided his stash.

Her day worsened when the oncologist from Florida called. Keeping with the class agreement that all phone calls are conducted in the hallway, Hannah pointed at one of them, a signal that they run the conversation until she returned, and she stepped outside. After the doctor rambled on for a minute in a medical dialect she couldn't understand, Hannah yelled at him and he sputtered for a moment before spitting it out. The news she didn't match Lily floored her. She walked back into the middle of her classroom and scared the hell out of her students when she threw the phone at the empty first row.

Since she couldn't smoke, Hannah texted Spencer the minute her last class ended and headed straight for the gun range. He texted back about some foreign film she found uninteresting, and added he would meet her back at home. When Hannah arrived at the range, she realized she didn't have her gun. The range owner liked shooting with her sometimes and loaned her one of his guns. She laughed when he gave her the Glock 17, and ended up texting Aaron. For years he'd teased her that he had the better gun.

The one slot open for shooting stopped Hannah in the doorway with a memory of the exact same range, and the exact same lane. Two years ago she'd stalked Aaron here and asked that he pull strings for Spencer, help him pass the Academy's physical tests he struggled with, and into the BAU. Aaron said she had spunk and nerve and proposed a shooting contest for his answer. She emptied her entire revolver through one hole in the middle of the paper target's head. Aaron whistled and swore he would look into Dr. Reid's difficulties with the Academy's psychical requirements.

So when she felt his presence behind her not even twenty minutes later, Hannah didn't look around. Instead, she stepped aside, pushed in a new slide, and handed him the Glock. Aaron accepted the gun and put every bullet through the target heart. As the paper rolled forward, they each checked out the other's handiwork. Hannah returned the gun and Aaron followed her out.

"What's with the stomach shots Hannah?" Aaron said once they stepped outside.

Hannah stared at the wounds she inflicted upon the paper while she spoke.

"My administrator decided to be an idiot today, the other professors all decided to be lunatics about it, and I suspect most of my students were high, which just made me miss smoking pot with Matthew."

Aaron listened as he rolled up the paper and tucked it under his arm.

"So, bad day?"

"Lily's oncologist called. I'm not a match. So, yeah, it's been a bad day. You have no idea how much I want a brownie."

"I'll buy you a brownie, just not one of those brownies." Aaron wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into a hug. "Come on, I'll bring you back here to your car when we're done."

Hannah smiled and followed Aaron.

"Deal."

Another memory from that same day two years ago slammed into Hannah's mind. After she shocked Aaron with her firearms display inside, they moved outside and talked. He asked her dozens of questions, about herself, her famous parents, and the intriguing Dr. Reid. That lead them into a few questions concerning her relationship with Spencer Reid. When he finished interrogating her, Aaron gave his word that he would help and also gave her the paper as a memento of their memorable first meeting, before he opened her car door for her like a gentleman.

As she climbed into the car, they almost kissed.

It happened by accident, they stood too close, but neither backed off. An inch separated them. Hannah smelled his breath and thought of cinnamon gum. She closed her eyes and breathed out, aware of her own breath. Chocolate. Minty. When she opened them again, Aaron hadn't moved. He stood by the car door, studying her. Watching her. She watched him back. His eyes never left her own. Hannah looked away first, and they landed upon the hand that held her door open. The wedding ring stuck out against the blue paint. She looked back at his eyes, but they too had glanced at his ring, before moving back up and staring into her own. When she couldn't stand the tension building up in her chest any more, Hannah pecked him on the cheek.

"I'm not the other woman Aaron."

Hannah whispered this against his skin, using his first name after addressing him by his last inside.

She stepped back, slipped into the car, removed a business card from one of her favorite bookstores that she had tucked in her wallet and wrote her cell number on the back. He accepted it as she thanked him on behalf of Spencer. They became good friends once Spencer joined the team, but they never once brought up the near kiss or her words. A mistake perhaps.

Now Hannah found herself in the same situation when Aaron opened the passenger side door and stepped inside her personal space. She didn't flinch or move backward, but stepped closer. They hadn't experienced a moment like this for two years and it felt good. Aaron reached for her and Hannah accepted his hand before a car pulled into the lot, forcing them apart. They ignored the moment of weakness and acted the part of gentleman and lady, he helping her into the passenger seat. When Aaron closed the door, Hannah expelled her held breath through her nose and balled her fists as she stared at the new car. By the time Aaron walked around the front and got in, Hannah had the paper unrolled on her lap and she studied his work.

"Spencer's gun re-qualification is the day after tomorrow." Hannah said without looking up.

Aaron heard her tone and noticed her sentence structure as well. Spencer before all else.

"He already asked me to help him at the FBI range tomorrow. Have you worked with him?"

"Not since the first time he saw me shoot. Apparently I scare him."

"Not just him. The first time I saw you shoot, I thought I would have a heart attack right there."

* * *

Two days later Spencer returned from the office in a less than great mood. Without a word, he put his gun away in the bed stand. Before Hannah could ask, Spencer shook his head and they both said nothing. They discussed everything but guns that night but that didn't satisfy Hannah. She wouldn't let him mope over it.

"You can test again in two weeks and until that time, you're going to let me work with you so you can pass it." Hannah said the next morning as he left for work. "This is not a negotiation. You need to get your gun back."

Spencer paused with his hand on the doorknob, thinking it over before he looked at her.

"Only if you don't shoot the paper target in the stomach. That freaks me out."

"Deal."

* * *

When Spencer returned from Des Plaines, he walked into the living room and found Hannah sitting at the dining room table, cleaning her revolver. She had it pointed right at him, but put it down with an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry Spencer." Hannah stood up and walked around the table. "Why didn't you call to say you were back?"

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Instead I surprise you. Sorry." She grinned and glanced back at her gun. "It's unloaded."

"I can see that. Did you go shooting while I was out of town?"

"Yes, but I wanted to clean it before we practiced shooting together."

"We don't have to. Hotch cleared me."

"He cleared you to carry?"

"I shot the unsub with Hotch's gun."

Spencer put his hands in his pockets as his eyes wandered around the objects near at hand. Hannah sensed that his actions ashamed him somewhat.

"You get your gun back!"

She surprised him with a hug but Spencer surprised her more when he flinched.

"Ow!"

"Spencer?" Hannah backed off and watched him cradle his ribcage. "What's wrong?"

"My ribs." Spencer said in a low voice filled with pain.

Hannah pulled up his shirt and gasped.

"Oh my god, Spencer!" Hannah studied the bruises forming across his chest and said, "The unsub did this?"

"No."

"Who?"

The glint in her eyes when she looked up frightened Spencer. He thought about lying, but he knew Hotch would confess his actions over drinks with Hannah anyway.

"Hotch had to get his ankle gun to me."

"What do you mean? Did Aaron do this to you?"

She turned back for her gun, but Spencer grabbed her arm and pulled her around.

"Don't be mad at him Hannah."

"He kicked you in the ribs Spencer!"

Hannah pointed at his bruises for emphasis.

"Hotch kicks like a nine year old girl."

Spencer grinned at his joke but Hannah just set her jaw and he dropped the smile.

"That's not funny."

"It's true." Spencer said, "Please don't be mad at him. I'm not."

"Go look at your ribs in the mirror."

"I can see my ribs just fine. It's not that bad." Spencer found himself addressing the air and looked around as Hannah marched upstairs. "Where are you going?"

"To see what we have in the medicine cabinet." She glanced down at Spencer. "I want to kill Aaron right now."

"Don't. He has a baby due any day now."

Hannah grunted, which always made Spencer nervous. He eyed the dismembered gun on the table and after Hannah disappeared into the bathroom, he inched toward it.

"We got Bayer and Tylenol. Which do you want?"

"The Tylenol will work." Spencer said as he picked up the firing pin and hid it under his watch.

"Okay, Tylenol it is." Spencer heard her coming and moved away from the table, but Hannah's next words stopped him. "And Spencer? Put my firing pin back on the table."

He looked up and saw Hannah lean against the railing, her eyes on his watch.

"Not until you promise not to kill Hotch."

She mulled it over for a few seconds, but Hannah nodded.

"I promise not to kill Aaron, but I can't promise not to punch him in the arm for payback."

"Fair enough."


	7. The Fox

Chapter 7

**The Fox**

The doctors kicked Hotch out of the delivery room for a little while, so he could calm down. Instead he punished the floor walking up and down the hallways of the maternity ward, hoping that stretching his legs would ease his anxiety. That didn't help, but hearing Hannah call his voice from down the hallway did.

"Aaron!"

As he turned around, Aaron grinned at the sight of her.

"Hannah."

She smiled back, right before she landed a right hook on his bicep and yelled at him.

"You're lucky I'm leaving your face alone."

"Ow!" Aaron rubbed his arm and stepped away from her. "Why did you hit me?"

"Two things. One, you beat up Spencer!"

"He hasn't told you the full story."

"Spencer did tell me the full story and it doesn't get you off the hook with me."

"Okay, and the second reason?"

"Why did Jessica call me down to the hospital when you should have asked me?"

"I didn't know they called you. We agreed to have family only at the hospital or else I would have called you myself."

The reason seemed legit, so Hannah nodded and left it alone.

"Fine, but I'm still mad about what happened to Spencer though." She turned and glanced in the rooms as she walked by them. "Which way to Haley's room?"

"Hannah, wait." Aaron grabbed her hand and lead her away from Haley's room, until he found a stairwell. "We need to talk about what happened outside the range."

Hannah glanced up and down the hall before she looked at Aaron.

"You want to talk about that now?" Aaron's eyes looked different than they had outside the range, less lustful and more upset, and Hannah felt her Irish rising. "Fine, why not? Let's talk about it now. I made it clear to you two years ago that I do not date or sleep with married men. And what the hell even happened the other day?"

"I don't know." Aaron looked down and away. "I'm sorry."

The shove sent him back against the door and Aaron looked up, surprised at what she had just done.

"Sorry? Don't tell me you're sorry Aaron. I'm not your wife. Just your wife's friend and your friend. And I don't buy that you're sorry. Bullshit. Two years ago you pulled that move on me and then nothing since then, so why pull it again now with your baby days away from his due date?"

"Don't tell me you don't know." Aaron stepped closer, so close they had just inches separating them. "You're smarter than that. You're one of the most brilliant women I know Hannah."

Hannah put her hand on Aaron's chest, all five of her fingers over his heart, and felt his heart beating faster than hers.

"Don't try and flatter me Aaron. Just don't treat me like a booty call."

Aaron's heartbeat quickened. His eyes flew up from staring at her hand and as he looked back into her eyes, she saw his pupil's widen. They'd done that before, outside the range. Both times. And many times between. She'd found herself hoping no one picked up on it. Her own pupil reaction when she looked at Aaron made her conscientious.

"I have never said you are." Aaron grabbed her hand and held her fingers within his own, pulling her closer until an inch of air kept them apart. "I haven't even thought it. Of course you're not a booty call Hannah. You're more important to me than that."

"Oh bullshit, Aaron. Bullshit!" Hannah tried breaking free of his grasp but his strength kept her there, an inch away from those lips and the words she didn't want to hear. "You pulled a move on me when you haven't had sex in months. Go ahead and try to deny it."

Aaron closed eyes in answer. He couldn't look at her and say it.

"Just a moment of weakness."

"Yeah right Aaron! Just a moment?" Hannah pushed him with her free hand and his backward momentum, and the fact he still held her other hand, sent them back against the door. "What about two years ago? That another moment?"

"That's complicated and you know it."

"Yeah I do know it, so let me clear it up for you." Hannah pushed herself off of him and put a couple of inches between them too. "Spencer and I have an open relationship. You and Haley do not. While you are married, nothing is going to happen between us. So stop driving me crazy with that car door trick of yours!"

"Hannah." Aaron reached up and cupped her cheek. "You know how I feel about you."

"Yes, I do, and you and your wife got pregnant after you made it clear to me how you feel about me." As soon as she said it, Hannah pulled Aaron's hand off her face. "Damn it, Aaron! And I thought Spencer was a mess when it comes to romantic relationships."

"Hannah."

Aaron cupped her face again, but she knocked it away.

"No, just stop it okay?"

"Hannah!"

She pulled away from him but Aaron held her hand tighter and yanked her back as he reached behind him, pulling open the stairwell door.

"Let go of me!"

Hannah saw the open stairwell and fought him, but Aaron grabbed her other arm. He pulled her through, pushing her up against the wall as the door closed behind them.

"Listen to me." Aaron grabbed her other wrist and pinned it against the wall by her head before doing the same with the hand he still held. "Hannah, stop fighting me and listen to me!"

After a few more moments of fighting his grasp, Hannah stopped and looked into his eyes.

"What?" Hannah said,

The expression hell hath no fury popped into Aaron's mind, so he softened his voice and chose his words with care.

"I can't explain why I have these feelings. I just do. And yes, I'm married. Yes, my son is due today. And yes, this is complicated and I can't stand it, but I can't just forget how I feel about you, so don't ask me to."

"I never asked you to forget, Aaron! I just want you to stop pulling moves on me when we can't do anything more. Like you're doing right now." Aaron had closed the gap between them, less than an inch, and stared at her lips. "Aaron, look at me. Look at my eyes."

"What?" Aaron said when he finally looked up at her.

"Release me, and let's go see your wife. She's in labor and wants to see us."

Reminding him of his wife worked. The grip on her hand and wrist disappeared and Aaron backed away. He opened the door and motioned that Hannah should go first. As she did, he stroked her arm before he pulled his hand away when she glared at him over her shoulder. Aaron lead her down the hall as Hannah tried keeping her eyes off his jeans. As they reached Haley's room, Aaron glanced back and caught Hannah staring not at his back, but lower. She looked up and blushed.

Slipping past him into the room, Hannah smiled, her blush gone. Haley grinned when she saw Hannah and held out her hand. A moment later Hannah stood at her bedside, taking both her hands within her own.

"I'm so glad you came Hannah. I know you have classes."

"Don't worry about it. I put a note on my office door. No one questions labor."

"Good, now can you make me a promise?"

"Sure."

"Promise me we'll go on another beach trip."

"Absolutely." Behind her Aaron hid a laugh in a cough, but Hannah ignored him as she leaned over Haley's belly and poked her bellybutton. "Hey, you! Come out of your mama already. We need to go to the beach and have all kinds of fun we can't tell anyone about."

Without even looking at each other, Hannah, Haley, and Jessica burst into a giggling fit. Behind them Aaron shook his head and gazed up at the ceiling.

"Oh!" Haley stopped laughing. "He's moving now!"

Aaron stepped into the hall and called the doctor back in, but he still caught Hannah's words.

"I'll leave you with your family. I have another class."

"Thank you again for coming Hannah. I needed to see a friend. And I thought the laughter might help."

Haley giggled again, but a contraction stole her breath and she grimaced until it passed.

"Laughter." Hannah grinned. "The best medicine. I'll come back tonight or tomorrow to see you and the little guy. I'll call Jessica to find out when the best time is."

"Okay." Haley said before she gave Hannah's hand one last squeeze.

Before she left, Hannah gave Jessica a quick hug and a knowing smile. At the doorway, she stopped beside Aaron and leaned close, whispering in his ear.

"I can't help how I feel about you either Aaron, but I respect and love Haley too much to betray her like that." She backed up a step and looked him in the eye as she said, "Forget about me. For both our sakes. Please."

Aaron gazed at her for a moment before he nodded.

* * *

"He is so gorgeous." JJ adored little Jack, but didn't ask if she could hold him.

"Thank you." Haley smiled and looked so happy with her newborn.

"If you find baldness and wrinkles attractive." Spencer said and received a light hit from Garcia in return.

"Look at his widdle biddy nose." Garcia looked up at Morgan, who stopped for a quick peek at Hotch's baby boy, and said, "Don't you want one of these?"

"I'll stick to practicing." Morgan grinned and walked off as everyone laughed.

Elle passed him in the hall and caught his grin.

"Congratulations." Elle said,

"Thank you." Haley said back with a beaming smile.

"Thanks." Aaron said, nodding to his wife. "She's amazing. I'm a little terrified."

"Well, we should get going."

"It's a pleasure seeing you Mrs. Hotchner." Reid smiled and Haley smiled back at him.

An idea popped into her head. Hotch saw it in her eyes.

"You and Hannah should come to dinner sometime." Haley said, "We've never had you two over."

The idea of Hannah having dinner at his house scared Hotch in a way he couldn't quite put into words, even though they agreed nothing would happen between them. He changed the subject, picking a topic he knew would get them off course.

"Haley, what about the beach?"

"Oh, we're still doing that, but we can certainly do both."

"You and Hannah are going back to the beach?" Reid's eyes widened.

"The whole group." Haley said, meaning the girls, and not the boys.

Hotch closed his eyes while Reid just shook his head. JJ and Garcia grinned like mischievous children.

"Oh gods." Hotch said under his breath.

"What happened at the beach?" Elle wished someone would fill her in.

"Drunken hilarity most definitely, knowing Hannah." Reid said, and Hotch nodded in confirmation.

"None of the women will say." Hotch said, "They all plead the fifth and I can't get any of them to talk. I've threatened them with everything and they won't budge."

"And you never will." Haley said with a smile.

"What happened at the beach stays at the beach." Reid said, "And unlike Vegas, it actually does. Beaches don't have surveillance cameras like Vegas."

"We destroyed all the photographic evidence."

JJ gasped and covered her mouth.

"JJ!" Garcia swatted her arm. "No details."

"And with that, we should go."

Haley removed the curled up Jack from Hotch's arms and put him in the stroller. Hotch grinned, happy that Haley hadn't brought up the dinner again. He hoped she would forget about it and waved at his wife and baby as the elevator doors closed.

"Bye sweetheart."

* * *

After the team wrapped the Arnold case and left for the night, Aaron stayed a few more hours. When he exhausted his paperwork, he packed up, looked around the darkened office, and left. On his way home he detoured. This night of the week, Hannah spent extra hours in her school office. She liked the Amazing Race and possessed an office TV. Reid didn't love the show like she did, but he commented on it and that annoyed her. So she just watched it at school and graded papers during the commercials. After pausing at her door and listening for the sounds of the TV and papers, Aaron knocked. Ten seconds later she answered it, but when she did, Aaron knew she expected him, and had for some time. She stepped aside for him and pointed at a chair that she'd moved into place for him. He glanced at the loveseat sofa and saw it covered in clippings, magazines, and books.

"Hi Aaron. Come in." Hannah didn't sound disappointed that he'd showed up at her door, but happy, which he found strange after their fight at the hospital several days ago. "You want to talk about the Arnold case?"

Halfway into the office, Aaron stopped and looked at her.

"How did you know?"

"Spencer told me about it, before he started reading Dostoevsky." Hannah closed the door and sat, ignoring the papers on the floor. "No one can talk to him while he's reading Dostoevsky, so I just left him alone."

Aaron recalled Hannah explaining Reid's reading moods when he joined the team. The Russian greats he read when he found himself upset and didn't want any conversation, and when a case angered him, he read Dostoevsky. That happened after cases that involved dead children. Reid couldn't understand why people killed children. Hotch thought the fact that Reid grew up an only child played into it, as well as the fact that he had never connected with a child until Lily's birth.

"How much did Reid tell you about the case?"

"Arnold is a family annihilator, and what he said at the end of his confession about fathers." Hannah turned off the TV as Aaron sat in the offered seat. "That's why you're here, because of what Arnold said about fathers?"

She said it as a matter of fact and Aaron blinked. Hannah dad that effect on him.

"How can you always read me like that?"

"You know why."

A slight blush appeared in Hannah's cheeks, but vanished when she swallowed and looked away.

"He took the father's wedding ring as a trophy."

"I know." Hannah met his eyes. "You hate him for that."

"He took everything from them." Aaron looked away, and after a second his eyes settled on Hannah's in her lap. "Yes, I hate him for that. I'm a father, of course I hate him."

As he spoke, Aaron rubbed his wedding ring with his thumb until Hannah put her hand over his and stopped him.

"Aaron, do you want to say something to Karl Arnold, or to me?"

"What you said at the hospital." Aaron looked into her eyes. "Before you left. You were right."

"And you agreed with me when I said it."

"I need to be a strong father."

"Arnold's words."

"He stole them. I need to be a good father and a good husband. We can't do this."

"I already said this at the hospital. Are my words only now getting through to you? Aaron, you don't need to analyze Karl Arnold to know that we should not have an affair."

"I don't want an affair."

"Good." Hannah smiled and nodded, relieved he said it. "Neither do I."

"But I want you."

Her smile vanished and for a moment Hannah just stared at him.

"You drive me crazy." Hannah ran her hands over her face and through long strands of brown hair, before she held them together in front of her. "Aaron, you can't have both of us. You can't have Haley and me at the same time. I won't do that, and I won't let you do that."

"I know and I've made my decision." Aaron grabbed her hands and put them down on her lap. "Haley."

"Good. Yes."

"I just wish I didn't feel the way I do about you."

"We can't control who we love. You know that better than most."

Aaron leaned forward and kissed her for the first time. After a moment Hannah returned the kiss. It continued, six, seven, eight seconds before they lost count. Some seconds later Aaron pulled away.

"Goodbye."

He stood up and walked away. Hannah didn't move, except for her lips when she whispered his name and he paused with his hand on the knob. Aaron glanced back at a shellshocked Hannah.

"Aaron." Hannah exploded out of her chair and Aaron froze with his hand still on the doorknob. "Wait, if that's a goodbye to our friendship as well, you can't! We managed to be friends these past two years despite our feelings for each other. You can't just leave everything we have!"

Aaron crossed the office and pulled a shaking Hannah into his arms.

"Hannah, Hannah, calm down. It's not a goodbye to our friendship. I could never end our friendship." Aaron pushed her hair back and whispered in her ear. "Hannah, you keep me sane."


	8. Natural Born Killer

Chapter 8

**Natural Born Killer**

Hours after the Perotta interrogation, Aaron stood outside Hannah's classroom and checked his watch again. Ten minutes until this class finished and over an hour until her next class began. He tried waiting, but after glancing at his watch three times in one minute, Aaron gave up and knocked. When Hannah peered out the small window on the door, her eyes widened and she joined him in the hallway, without handing her class over as she always did. When the door clicked shut behind her, she glanced down the hall, and seeing no one, loosened his tie and unbuttoned his collar. The sight of his red and blue neck stole her color.

"How in the hell can you keep your tie on after what happened, Aaron?"

"I don't want anyone to see...how did you know?"

"Spencer called and told me what happened between you and Vincent Perotta in that junkyard. He sounded worried and thought you might head over here at some point to talk to me. Aaron, have you gone home to Haley yet?"

"I can't. Not yet. I thought after a couple hours paperwork I could, but I can't."

"You're angry. Or upset. Sometimes I can't tell the difference with you."

"I'm both."

"Because of Perotta?"

"Yes." Aaron breathed deep and said, "I can't take my anger home to my family."

Taking a carabiner off her belt, Hannah removed a key attached by a braid of golden ribbons and pressed it into Aaron's hand.

"Key to my office. Wait for me in there. My class has about ten minutes left."

Hannah kissed him on the cheek and slipped back into her classroom before he could say anything. Aaron stayed, the urge to watch her some more through the glass dissipating once she glanced back and caught sight of him. He stepped back, turned and walked down the hallway to her office, the whole time worried that she'd seen him lingering where her students might see him. He didn't want her mad at him. The next time he looked up, Aaron saw the nameplate for Dr. Hannah Darrow on her office door. His feet carried him there on automatic.

He knew her office well. Last year he'd helped her move in a love seat sofa and rearrange. Nothing happened then, that being well before their second encounter outside the gun range. Everything turned complicated between them since then. Aaron let himself into her office and shut the door behind him without locking it. The moment he saw the love seat he sank onto it, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.

"Aaron." Hannah said as she shook him awake. "I've let you sleep for at least fifteen minutes, but you have to wake up now."

"I'm awake." Aaron opened his eyes and blinked several times. "I'm up."

"I'm surprised you slept at all given what happened last night."

"I haven't slept in two nights. My adrenaline crashed."

"Do you need me to drive you home?"

"No, I can make it."

"Okay." Hannah reached into a teapot, pulled out a soaking handkerchief, and rung it out as Aaron watched her. "I heated up some water. Let me look at your neck. Remove off your tie."

He grinned at that and pulled it off.

"Do you need my shirt off as well?" Aaron said and winced when Hannah smacked his elbow.

"Do not tempt me Aaron."

"I'm not trying to tempt you. I don't want my shirtwet." Aaron foundhis top button as he said, "Can you contain yourself?"

The staring lasted as long as Hannah could bare it before she replied.

"Can you?"

"I can if you can."

"Take the shirt off."

"Lock your door."

Hannah started and looked up from the handkerchief.

"Excuse me?"

"You don't want a student to walk in on this. The rumors will spread faster that STD's in a co-ed dorm."

"Fine." Hannah left the sofa and locked the door. "But no more sex talk out of your mouth."

"It's an accurate comparison."

Hannah sat back down beside him and helped him unbutton, but stopped after just one button and played with the handkerchief.

"Aaron, we can't talk sex. It's too much. You know that."

"Sorry." Aaron said as he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it halfway down his arms, exposing his chest and bruised neck.

"Apology accepted." Hannah's eyes lingered a few moments on his bare chest, but she gasped when she saw his neck. "Oh, god, Aaron. This looks terrible."

"It looks worse than it feels."

"Really? Are you serious right now?" Hannah said as she raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "Because you are the only person I know who's ever been garroted."

"Okay, I feel like an abused rag doll." Aaron closed his eyes and breathed deep. "I feel like hell."

"Your voice sounds fine." Hannah said while she pressed the hot handkerchief against his battered skin with a soft touch. "A little soft, but you sound okay."

"Thanks." Aaron sighed and settled deeper into the sofa cushions. "The hot water helps."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hannah arranged the handkerchief over his neck and left it there. "Perotta's interrogation. Why did he make you so angry?"

"He didn't. His circumstances did."

"What does that mean? What circumstances?"

"An abusive father."

"That got you thinking about your own father."

"He wasn't anywhere near as bad as Perotta's father, but he was a hard man." Aaron opened his eyes and and glanced over until he found Hannah's. "I would never raise a hand to my son."

Looking down, Hannah saw Aaron's left hand an inch away from her knee. She grasped his wrist in her hand and counted out the beats of his heart for fifteen seconds before she looked back up.

"You'd rather cut it off than raise it to him."

"Yes." Aaron glanced at his wrist and smiled. "How do you know me so well Hannah?"

A quick smile appeared on Hannah's lips, but vanished as her face became unreadable. She lifted Aaron's arm level with her face, and studied his pulse. But while she spoke her eyes looked past his arm, into his eyes.

"Oh, I just figured out the alcohol combination that unlocks your soul, so now you have no more secrets from me."

"You're scary." Aaron said, his eyes wide and the corners of his mouth twitching.

"You know I'm kidding!" Hannah dropped his arm on his lap and giggled. "Well, partially."

"I am officially terrified of you now." Aaron grinned as he said it.

"Oh shut up." Hannah cracked up and giggled harder, but when Aaron grabbed her leg and pulled her on top of him, she stopped laughing. "Aaron, what the hell?"

The answer arrived when Aaron grabbed her right hand and placed it over his heart, placed his hand left hand over her right and his right over her own heart. His heart raced faster than it had just one minute before, and so did hers.

"Hannah."

"Stop it Aaron."

"Hannah?"

Pushing him, Hannah almost lost her balance on his lap, but Aaron held her hand tighter. That just angered her even more.

"Have you completely forgotten what you said to me just feet from here only a few weeks ago? I'll remind you. You chose your wife and your marriage and your son over a mistaken affair with me. You made the right decision that night. I'm not going to let you go back on that and you know damn well I'm not going to sleep with a married man, so knock it off!" Hannah said before something distracted her and she reached into her jean pocket. "Hold on. My phone just buzzed in my back pocket."

"Don't answer it." Aaron said as he tried taking away the cell phone, but stopped when he felt fingernails settle over the skin on his chest.

"Aaron, stop it. I don't want to leave marks your wife will question, so shut up." Hannah looked at the phone and discovered a new text message from Spencer that sped up her heart rate even more. "Oh my God."

"Hannah, what's wrong?"

"Quiet." Hannah put a finger over her lips as she turned the phone toward him. "Look."

Aaron's eyes widened as he read the message: Just parked outside your building. On my way in. Can't wait to see you.

"He's here?" Aaron said in a whisper that traveled no further than Hannah's ears.

"In the building. In the hallway by now probably." Hannah said in the same soft whisper. "Put your shirt on and keep that wrapped around your neck."

Reaching for the handkerchief, Aaron stopped and looked at her confused.

"Why?"

"Just do it. And button up." Hannah helped with the first button done before she climbed off his lap. "I have to let him in when he knocks. Hurry."

Closing the rest of his buttons, Aaron watched Hannah pace by the door as she cast him dirty looks. When she turned and walked back in the opposite direction, he stood and grabbed her by the elbow.

"Hey." Aaron mouthed.

"What?" Hannah mouthed back.

He pulled her away from the door until they stood at the back of her office and could talk a bit louder.

"What is wrong with wanting just a few minutes close to you, Hannah?"

"We can't open that door and just stand in the doorway. We both want to go through and we cannot do that Aaron! Stop tempting me."

"You stop tempting me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were sending me all the signals."

"That I what, wanted to make out and screw on the loveseat? Get your head out of the gutter."

"We would never have gone that far!"

"Do you seriously think either one of us has that much control?" A knock at the door cut their argument short. "I'm letting him in. Smile and act like everything is fine."

"Smile?" Aaron rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because Reid will find that natural."

"When you're in my company, or Haley's, they always do." Hannah said of the whole team.

At that, she walked away and opened the door, a perfect smile on her face. Aaron smiled too, and walked as far as the teapot before he stopped and touched the handkerchief hiding his bruises from Reid. He couldn't hide the handkerchief, as Reid looked inside the office and saw him just as Hannah announced his presence.

"Look who beat you here."

"Hey, Hotch. What's on your neck?"

"Hannah's idea. It helped." Aaron said as he looked at Hannah as he removed the handkerchief.

Reid swallowed, and turned a light shade of yellow.

"That's what Perotta did?"

"Don't worry. It looks a lot worse than it feels." Aaron glanced at Hannah with a look that said stay quiet about my lie, and handed her the handkerchief. "Thank you Hannah. I should get home to Haley and Jack now."

"Tell Haley I'm working on the beach trip." Hannah folded the handkerchief and didn't look at him. "I'll call her when I have something more concrete."

"I will. See you tomorrow Reid."

"See you tomorrow." Reid said, "Put something on that neck."

"I will." Aaron gave them a small nod as he left. "Have a good night."

The last thing Aaron heard as he left Hannah's office stopped him mid step as he turned and looked back. Reid asked her out on a date for that night, and Hannah said yes.


	9. Derailed

Chapter 9

**Derailed**

The dryness in his mouth woke Spencer up. He forgot last night that Hannah added extra rum into her margaritas for kick, and maybe the added bonus of torturing him. He rolled out of bed and stumbled into the shower. Fifteen minutes later, after alternating sprays of hot and cold water, he felt ready for the day. Getting dressed felt a bit hazy and unusual; Spencer felt whimsical and a bit unfocused. His wardrobe did not interest him, but after staring at his closet for a few minutes, he choose something that would do.

Hannah stood at the stove. She stirred something on the skillet when Spencer snuck up behind her. For a few seconds he just watched her. When he saw how comfortable she looked, he leaned in closer and whispered with his best scary movie voice two inches from her ear.

"Deadly margaritas!"

Hannah jumped and a girlish scream erupted from of her throat. She spun around with her arm raised above her head, the wooden spoon in her hand like a weapon, but Spencer caught her wrist and laughed. After she cursed him under her breath, she laughed too.

"You jerk! You scared the hell out of me." Hannah gave him a light punch on the arm. "Where did you come up with that creepy voice?"

"Good. Consider it payback for getting me drunk last night."

"Tipsy." She pointed at him. "You have never gotten drunk of my margaritas."

"If you sneak anymore rum into those margaritas, I will get drunk."

"You love my margaritas."

"I don't like having a dry mouth in the morning."

"Deal with it." Hannah said before she gave him a quick kiss, then turned around and kept stirring.

Spencer moved in beside her, leaned over the stovetop, and inhaled.

"This smells awesome."

"Thank you."

"Can I have some now?"

"No. It's not ready yet." Hannah elbowed him away from the food. "Now go set the breakfast table."

"Yes chef." Spencer saluted her and received a stink eye and half a smile in return.

"I thought we could be spontaneous tonight if you're in town. Have crazy fun and wonder how it happened. We haven't done that since we wrapped finals a few years ago."

Spencer's face almost split from the grin.

"I'll try my best, but it's up to JJ and Hotch. Gideon sent Elle to Texas to do an inmate interview, so we might not go anywhere."

* * *

The evening started out fun, but that didn't last after Spencer shared his exploits in Texas as he and Hannah walked home the last few blocks. She reacted the opposite of what he expected. In all the previous months that he shared his work with her, Hannah never reacted with such anger, outside of the rape cases. When she exploded, Hannah pushed him and Spencer fell back against an old sedan. He expected a car alarm, but one glance at the model revealed the pre-alarm age.

"That's funny? You almost died but don't worry cause I used a magic trick against a guy with a gun and Elle called Jason dad? Are you kidding me?" Hannah said in one breath. "You could have been killed, Spencer. That's not funny!"

Spencer grabbed her arm as she walked away but Hannah pulled away.

"Hannah!"

"I do not want to talk to you tonight! Go to bed. I'll be in my old room in the morning."

"Are you saying we're off?"

"I'm sick of your job and your life and you are never home!"

"I've been home for weeks, Hannah! Months!"

"And then you go to Texas for a few hours and almost get shot by a mental patient." Hannah felt the tears coming but pushed them back. "That was stupid, Spencer!"

"I had the situation under control!"

"Whatever. You say that now."

"You're drunk Hannah. I'm not arguing about this. Not when you're drunk. It's pointless." Spencer waited for her reply but instead Hannah stormed off down the street, and not in the direction of home. "Hannah? Where are you going?"

"The bar! And then I might call Jenna and crash at her place. Don't expect me to come home tonight!"

Instead of fighting her, Spencer turned and walked away, hands in his pockets, head down. He didn't look back until he reached the end of the block. Hannah stood at the opposite end of the block, cell phone in her hands. She didn't look back, and after waiting for another few seconds, Spencer vanished around the corner.

Hannah almost dropped her phone in the middle of the text, messing up the message: So mad at him now going to Martin's haven for more drinks meet me please!

She hit send and dropped the phone in her pocket as she crossed the street. A few miles away, Aaron grabbed his cell phone as it vibrated on his night stand. Reading the message in the phone's glow, he translated the haven to tavern and wondered what happened between Hannah and Spencer as he fell back to sleep next to his wife.


	10. The Popular Kids

Chapter 10

**The Popular Kids**

The next morning Aaron parked in front of Jenna's house and knocked on the front door. Jenna saw him pulling up and opened the door in the middle of a knock. She crossed her arms, glaring at him, head cocked in her signature disappointed stance. As Hannah's best friend, Jenna knew everything Spencer didn't, or they suspected he didn't know. Aaron received a lot of stares from her over the years, so this glare didn't frighten him, but he grew nervous as she continued to stand there.

"Good morning Jenna." Aaron said, "Can I talk to her?"

Jenna stepped back and gestured him inside.

"She's in the guest bedroom." Jenna said, then grabbed his arm as he headed that way. "You're not going in there. Wait in the kitchen with the boys while I toss her hungover ass in the shower."

Aaron still tried following but when Jenna cast a dirty look over her shoulder, he obeyed and turned into the kitchen. Marcus and Danny, her husband and her son, looked up at him when he entered. While Danny slid the large platter of sausage and pancakes over for him, Marcus grinned, crossed his arms and leaned back against the fridge. Danny looked at his father, received permission in the form of a nod, then left the kitchen.

"Man, is Jenna mad at you."

"I'm used to that, but is Hannah mad at me?"

"She was mostly cursing Spencer when Jenna brought her home last night, but I think I heard her drop your name too. What did you do?"

"I didn't join her at the bar after she fought with Reid. She did text me after midnight when I was already in bed."

"Asleep or not asleep?"

"It didn't seem wise to leave. If Haley woke up and I was gone I didn't want to lie to her about where I went and I didn't want to tell her that I left to see Hannah at the bar."

"You're kinda screwed either way you think about it."

"I like to think I'm more optimistic than that."

"I know you are." Marcus said and pulled out a plate, knife and fork for Aaron. "Dig in optimist. You know Jenna's a great cook."

Aaron ate a pancake, no syrup, and a few sausages. Since conversation with Marcus always felt easier than it did with Jenna, they soon fell into a heated discussion of football until Jenna walked in, trailing a wet and hungover Hannah behind her, wearing one of Jenna's bathrobes.

"You two can go talk in the study." Jenna said before she cleared away Aaron's empty plate. "Danny, come help me in the kitchen!"

With one quick look at Aaron, Hannah turned and walked back down the hall. Aaron followed, but tugged her arm when she veered toward the guest bedroom. Taking hold of her wrist, Aaron led her into the study at the end of the hall and closed the door behind them.

"I don't want to talk in here." Hannah said.

"Well I don't want to talk in the bedroom."

Putting as much distance as he could between himself and Hannah, Aaron looked everywhere but at her as he started pacing.

"Don't want to or don't feel comfortable?" Hannah said.

Aaron stopped pacing and looked at her.

"You know that answer."

"I'm not going to toss you down on the bed Aaron." Hannah looked at him, a small grin on her face as she said, "Or would you toss me down?"

The startled swallow and head jerk when Aaron looked up and into her eyes answered Hannah's question. With one hand she reached down, put her thumb inside the knot holding herbathrobe together, and pulled. When Aaron glanced down at her robe, his eyes widened and he crossed the room in two steps. Just as the knot came loose and Hannah pulled the robe open with her free hand, Aaron stopped her by placing his hands over hers. He closed the robe, keeping his eyes on hers and not once looking down.

"Damn it Hannah. Don't. We agreed. Don't violate your own rule."

Aaron turned away then to give her some privacy. When she didn't fix the robe and Aaron didn't turn back, Hannah sighed and pulled the robe tighter around her body, tying it off with a simple bow. Then Aaron turned back.

"Is that why you didn't show up last night? Because you thought this would happen?" Hannah said as she gestured her tied bathrobe.

"Hannah, I didn't show up at the bar because I was asleep next to my wife. I made it clear in your office that I chose my wife."

"I know what decision you made. Need I remind you what happened the next time you came by my office?"

"That was a moment of weakness and I'm sorry it happened. I already apologized for it, and I went home to my wife. That was the last time anything like that happened between us and I don't need you reminding me of how I almost betrayed Haley."

"Haley had nothing to do with last night, Aaron! Last night, I just needed a friend."

"And I knew you would call Jenna when I didn't answer."

"Damn it Aaron, you could have at least replied with a 'can't make it' or some other text, and don't tell me you just saw it when you woke up this morning because I know you profilers live and eat and sleep with your phones on, checking every message when it comes in!"

"I did see it when you texted me and I'm sorry I didn't reply then. I didn't think it was appropriate for me to text you back in the middle of the night after our discussion in your office."

"That sounds like a great excuse but I don't buy it. Haley knows we're good friends and that wasn't the first time we texted well after midnight. I needed a friend and Jenna was not the friend I needed. I needed you because I needed to talk to you about what Spencer did in Texas!"

"Texas? Yesterday? What about Texas?"

"We fought!"

"Why did you and Reid fight about Texas?"

"I got upset at him for how he spoke about it. Spencer almost got shot, Elle almost got shot, any one of those hostages on that train could have been shot and Spencer's proud of himself for using a magic trick and talking the guy down. When I heard him talk like that...I already had a few drinks in me and I lost it. I started yelling at him and just left him to walk home alone while I went to the bar. In hindsight, I know I overreacted, but I don't think Spencer has realized the gravity of what happened on that train. It just bothers me when he talks like that."

The sounds of the house filled the study as Aaron remained quiet, weighing what Hannah said.

"Reid was our best option for getting those hostages out alive. He could do the trick to convince the gunman his imagined chip had been removed and he figured out which mental illness the gunman had." Aaron stopped for a minute as he stared out the window, lost for a moment in thought before he turned back. "I saw him after we got everyone off that train and I watched him on the plane. You do have a point about his reaction to all of it. What he did yesterday hasn't hit him yet. Maybe it hit him last night when he returned home without you. Or not. I'll keep my eye on him, but there's no telling when the full gravity of what happened will hit him, if it ever will. Sometimes these things just don't affect us like people assume they should. We compartmentalize. It helps us get through the cases."

"You don't have to lecture me about psychology Aaron. I was raised by the famous doctors Darrow remember? Spencer's not compartmentalizing Texas. From the way he talked about it, I think he was deflecting."

"Deflecting?"

"He bragged about it, Aaron. Spencer brags when he deflects. It's his defense mechanism."

"I didn't see that yesterday."

"I did." She sighed and said, "What about a mandatory psych eval?"

"Gideon would have to sign off on it too and he wouldn't. Besides, a mandatory psych eval goes on Reid's record and I don't see how Texas alone is enough to do that." Aaron glanced at a bookshelf behind Hannah before he looked back at her and said, "Hannah, I swear to you I will keep an eye on him."

"You'll let me know if anything happens?"

"We'll keep each other in the loop."

"Agreed."

"Can I drive you home?"

"I don't think that's a good idea Aaron."

"Why?"

"Because the longer I stay in your presence, the more I want to remove this bathrobe and your clothes, and we both know why we can't do that."

Hannah's directness produced a rare blink from Aaron. His back stiffened and for a moment he couldn't move, not until Hannah closed the gap. Her hands landed on his chest and moved toward his shirt buttons, but Aaron grabbed her wrists and spun her around. Confused and a bit frightened by the sudden change in his behavior and body language, Hannah fought him, but when Aaron hugged her arms at her side and applied pressure, she understood. As a little girl she learned the trick from her parents. Their favorite form of calming down a person freaking out, they used it on her, her brothers, sisters, and the occasional patient they didn't want to give Haldol to. Though, Hannah never heard of anyone using sympathetic nervous system suppression to subdue the sex drive. Until now. Sometimes Aaron surprised her.

"Stop this." Aaron said into her ear. "Stop this! We can't. You know we can't. This can't happen. It cannot happen. Just calm down. Breathe, and calm down. I'll let you go when you're ready."

"I'm not ready. I'm not ready."

"I know."

"No, I can't stop this. I can't stop how I feel, Aaron." She felt tears in her eyes and tried blinking them away. "I can't stop feeling what I feel for you and it's making me crazy."

A single tear rolled down the side of her nose and Aaron saw it. He buried his face in her hair and whispered as he tried keeping it together.

"I know, I know, I'm so sorry! I'm sorry Hannah."

"We can't help it. We just can't." Hannah inhaled a deep breath and said, "I need you to hold me tighter. You're not holding me tight enough. You have to hold me tighter."

Aaron corrected his hold with Hannah's help. They stayed that way for five minutes, neither of them talking. Once Hannah felt her heart rate drop back into her normal range, she tapped his wrist. He released her and stepped back.

"Hannah, how do you feel?"

"Feel? I feel like I'm stuck in a loop Aaron! Like we're stuck in a loop." Hannah said as her real anger leapt out of her. "Damn it Aaron! How many times must we have this same fight? We want to but we can't, we want to but we can't! How many times?"

"You're the one who keeps attacking me, Hannah!"

"Bullshit." Hannah said and brought up their last physical confrontation. "The hospital stairwell! I wouldn't have been surprised if you had taken me right there. You would have to if I hadn't stopped you. What if I didn't try to stop you? What if I wanted to go through with it?"

"One of these days I'm not going to stop you." Aaron dropped his tone and said, "I just won't have the strength anymore."

The rest of Hannah's argument died with that statement. For a few seconds she just stared at Aaron before turning away.

"Fuck!"

Aaron nodded as he looked away too.

"Can we even remain friends given the circumstances?" Aaron said.

"Don't Aaron." Hannah turned back to him and Aaron saw the fear in her eyes. "Do not even go there. That's not even a possibility and we both know it."

With that statement, Hannah ended the argument when she stood at the window and stared out. A minute passed before Aaron said anything.

"Can I drive you home?"

"No. I'm not stopping at home this morning. I have clothes in the guest bedroom and my office keys in my purse. Marcus already said he'll drive me as he heads to work."

"I'll leave you to it then."

"Aaron." Hannah looked back and said, "Don't talk to Spencer about the fight. Don't even mention to him that we talked."

The room fell into silence again, with Hannah staring past him at the study door. Aaron nodded as he opened the door, and even gave her a shy smile.

"Bye." Aaron said as he left her alone in the study, closing the door between them.

Crossing the room, Hannah pressed her ear against the door and listened. Aaron's footsteps disappeared when the front door closed. Taking two small steps back, Hannah bunched the fabric of her borrowed bathrobe against her mouth, and screamed into it.

* * *

About an hour later, Aaron glanced through a new case file as Morgan decided he needed coffee. In the BAU's kitchen area he found Reid pouring at least a cup of sugar in his coffee.

"Easy there tough guy. Have some coffee with your sugar."

"I need something to wake me up."

"Oh, late night?"

"Very."

Morgan's imagination went wild and he laughed.

"My man!"

"Not that kind of late night." Reid put the sugar down and stirred his coffee. "Hannah and I had a fight and I had trouble sleeping. Please don't tell anyone."

When Reid looked at him, Morgan couldn't read his face, but saw the sadness left from the fight in his eyes.

"Don't tell anyone that you fought with Hannah or had trouble sleeping?"

"Both."

"All right." Morgan said and left the conversation at that.

Reid knew he could talk with Morgan about anything, and Morgan knew Reid would do so in his own time.

"Hey Morgan? Do you ever have dreams?"

The question surprised Morgan. He expected a question about relationships and instead got dreams.

"I'm sorry?"

"I guess nightmares would be a more accurate description."

"Is that what's really keeping you up?"

"I used to get them occasionally, but lately it's like I have them every night."

"What are they about?"

"This. What we do. Do you have nightmares?"

"Reid, I'm not sure if I'm the right person for you to talk to about this."

"Why not?"

"It's just, did you ask Gideon about this?"

"No."

"You should." Morgan thought a moment before he said, "Is this what you and Hannah fought about? Your nightmares?"

"No, she doesn't even know I'm having them."

"How could she not know? She sleeps right next to you."

"They're quiet nightmares."

"Okay. So what did you two fight about?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Reid said very fast.

"Whoa, Reid." Morgan said as he put his hands up. "I didn't mean to pry, okay? I'm sorry."

"Okay." Reid said and gave Morgan a small smile of forgiveness just before Elle walked by.

"Hey, Hotch wants everyone in the round table room." Elle said before she saw Reid and Morgan in discussion. "Something up with you?"

"No." Reid said and walked away.

* * *

Hannah sat at her desk correcting papers and humming along with a jazz CD when Aaron walked in and closed the door behind him.

"When we agreed to keep each other in the loop, you should have mentioned then that Reid's having nightmares about the job." Aaron said as walked up and stopped at her desk, his knuckles resting on the edge. "I would have looked at his behavior following the train incident in Texas differently."

"Aaron, I can't tell you what I don't know." Hannah said as she put her pen down. "Spencer's having nightmares?"

"You sleep next to him, Hannah, how could you not know?" Aaron said as he studied her face and body language for any sign of deception.

"He hasn't said anything in his sleep, or screamed, and he hasn't even tossed and turned. That's how I didn't know about his nightmares! I haven't seen any signs." Hannah's chair flew back and she half circled around it before she looked up at Aaron. "Spencer never said anything about nightmares, even when I accused him of not taking the events in Texas seriously. Why didn't he tell me then? I would have apologized for my outburst and helped him."

"He's hiding it. Reid probably feared I would take him off the team, put him on leave, or give him a psychological evaluation."

"Spencer told you he's having nightmares?" Hannah said, emphasizing the you.

"No, Reid didn't tell me. He told Morgan, and Morgan told Jason and I about it so we can help him. Jason spoke to him on the plane on the way back. He thinks Reid's fine."

"I don't get it. Spencer just started opening up to me on how the cases effect him, but he hides his nightmares?" Hannah crossed her office and sank onto her small sofa. "How do I bring this up with him, Aaron? He'll know you came to me."

Aaron sat down beside her. Their legs touched and Hannah looked down, but Aaron didn't.

"Then let him know I came to you. Jason and I can only help him at work. You have to help him at home, but you can't help him if he doesn't let you know what's wrong."

Turning so she faced him on the sofa, Hannah folded her arms across her waist and looked Aaron in the eye.

"Aaron, I have to have a line."

"What do you mean?" Aaron said as he glanced down at the new two inch space between them.

"I mean Spencer has to trust that I'm not running to you with everything he confides in me."

"You don't. You didn't even know about the nightmares. I had to tell you about that. Not the other way around. You can't violate his trust if he doesn't tell you about these things."

"What if he didn't confide in me about his nightmares because he thought I would tell you?"

"Would you have told me? You argued about Texas and asked me what's going on with him because his behavior concerned you."

"The Texas fight's now invalidated because I know about the nightmares. And no, I would not have told you about the nightmares. That's for him to do, not me."

"Do you think he doesn't trust you?"

"I think he's afraid of telling me certain things and it wouldn't be any different if we were only friends and not dating. Spencer's very private."

"Talk to him about this." Aaron remembered the team's upcoming mandatory vacation and reminded Hannah. "The team has some vacation days next week. Do you and Reid have plans?"

"I'm joining him in Las Vegas for a few weekend shows."

"Do you two go anywhere but Vegas and Miami?"

"I once dragged him to the Hampton's house for a family get together the summer after we turned twenty one. That was a mistake. My brothers kidnapped him and he came back drunk. Only time I know of that he has ever been drunk. None of them will talk about the hijinks they got into that night, though Matthew hinted Spencer has a very crazy wild side to him, one Matthew thinks I shouldn't see." Hannah's eyes widened as she covered her mouth. "Damn! That's what I'm talking about, Aaron. I should have kept that trip a secret. Do not tell Spencer I told you about that."

Aaron grinned and laughed.

"Matthew already told me about that night, but I didn't get that many details either."

"I am so going to kick his ass." Hannah laughed as she stuck her finger in Aaron's face and he leaned back. "And you are no longer allowed to take my brother out for a beer. I know what you're doing Aaron."

"What am I doing?" Aaron said, giving Hannah his best innocent face.

Hannah closed her eyes and shook her head, as she held back a laugh before she spoke.

"Interrogating him for information about me." Hannah looked right into Aaron's eyes and said, "Stop it."

"Matthew has told me more about Reid than he has ever told me about you."

"Because Matt's hardwired not to give up my secrets, so stop trying." Hannah turned from semi serious and joking to very serious. "Seriously, stop. Matthew's using your tavern crawls to find out more about you and I under the guise of giving you information about Spencer and I."

"Are you sure?" Aaron said, his face no longer joking either, but shocked.

"My family may look sweet and innocent, but we picked up interrogation techniques from our parents." Hannah said, knowing Aaron would understand that statement.

"Okay, I'll remember that next time Matthew calls and wants to go out." Aaron thought about that for a moment, but picked up their previous conversation and said, "When you're in Vegas with Reid, you really should talk to him."

"I will."


	11. Blood Hungry

Chapter 11

**Blood Hungry**

For the entire flight Hannah made notes of what she should bring up and what she should say, like she planned for a class and not a discussion with her boyfriend about the state of their relationship. By the time she landed, Hannah had the front and back of a piece of notebook paper filled with little writing. Aaron's name she circled twice. When the doors opened she folded the sheet four times and stuck it in her back pocket. Spencer met her at the gate.

The flowers she smelled when she reached him. Spencer recognized the surprise in her eyes and brought the bouquet out from behind his back. A dozen red roses, wrapped in blue.

"Thank you!" Hannah said as she accepted and smelled them. "Roses after a flight. Perfect. People stink."

"Did you use the chap stick trick?"

"Before they even closed the doors." Hannah said into the flowers, where she considered retiring her nose before she gave that idea up and looked at Spencer. " Can we go to the hotel? I would love a shower."

"Yes. I checked us in at the New York New York."

"Yes! I love that place. I find it amusing."

"I know you do. That's why I got us a room there." Spencer took her small, weekend size luggage and her elbow, and lead her away from the gate. "I hope you brought a dress because we have dinner reservations somewhere nice."

"Where?"

"I'm not telling. Did you bring a dress?"

"Yes. And shoes." Hannah grinned and said. "Did you bring something nice to wear to dinner?"

"I did." Spencer said with a coy grin of his own.

* * *

After they got to their room and Hannah put the roses in a vase, Spencer cleared his throat and got her attention.

"Hannah, I want to talk to you before we go to dinner. I'm sorry about Texas."

With a nod that let him know she accepted his apology, Hannah prepared for an argument.

"And what about the nightmares?"

"Is there anyone Morgan didn't tell?"

"Derek didn't tell me."

"Hotch?"

"I shouldn't have had to find out about this from him."

"I can't believe he told you."

"Spencer, Aaron thought I kept your nightmares from him when in fact you never told me about them."

"Because I knew you would go straight to Hotch and tell him."

"Not true, but at least it answers my question."

"What question?"

"Does my boyfriend trust me? Obviously he doesn't."

"I do trust you but not when it comes to Aaron Hotchner."

"I don't tell him your secrets! Despite what you think, I do keep your confidences."

"He's your best friend and my boss. That's a conflict of interest Hannah."

"Spencer, what's really bothering you?"

"I'm not bothered by it."

"What 'it'?"

"You and Hotch flirting."

"How long have you known?"

"I knew when we went to our first team barbeque. You and Hotch started flirting it in a way so Haley wouldn't know and the team couldn't identify it."

"But you knew."

"Because I've seen you flirt with other guys. I know how you do it. And when you and Hotch look at each other, your pupils dilate. His too."

"We realized that the first day we met. I don't date or sleep with married guys remember? Or did you think that Hotch cheated on Haley with me? Or that I cheated on you with him?"

"No. I never thought you two did anything besides flirt. You would never violate your rule about married men. Did you think I thought you slept with him?"

"No, I don't know what you've imagined about my relationship with him these past few years. We haven't talked about it."

"Why haven't we talked about it?"

"Because Aaron and I wanted to avoid things getting awkward. You two work together and we knew it would take some time for the team to come to terms with our relationship, yours and mine. Believe me, Aaron and I never expected we would get away with hiding our feelings for each other from you and the rest of the team. You're profilers. It's just not possible. Spencer, we didn't want to hurt you and we don't want to hurt Haley either. We're sorry if we went about this the wrong way." Hannah sat on the edge of the bed and never took her eyes off Spencer. "Ask me anything and I'll tell you."

"Do you want to sleep with him?"

"Yes, but I don't see married guys and I don't want their marriage to end. Not that I think that will happen, but if it ever did I would work to keep Aaron and Haley's marriage together. He has the best wife and I'm not going to let him do anything stupid that will ruin what he has. Aaron is my best friend, besides Jenna. It's my job as his best friend to make sure he doesn't fuck up, and when, or if, he does, it's also my job to help get him out of the dog house."

"But what if they did get divorced?"

"I don't know. We would see. After they both signed the divorce papers. But I don't want them to ever get a divorce. Haley is my friend too." Hannah glanced away for a moment and stared at the wall before she looked back. "I still need to plan that beach trip."

"Have you ever kissed him?" Spencer said, bringing her attention back.

It worked. Her eyes widened and her lips parted just enough so that Spencer knew the answer before she could explain.

"Yes." Hannah's eyes stayed on his as she launched into her explanation. "He kissed me. Once. After the team captured Karl Arnold, Aaron came to my office. We'd been having trouble for a few months with containing our feelings and the tension kept growing. He came over to tell me he choose Haley and he gave me one kiss. One kiss for eternity. That's it. And I had already told him he needed to think of Haley and not me. He did, and I'm glad he did."

As she finished, Spencer expected she would look away and when she didn't, he did. Spotting a chair, Spencer dragged it across the room and sat in front of Hannah.

"When did you start having trouble?"

"The day before you failed your gun re-qualification." She took a deep breath and said. "Aaron and I first met at that gun range. It's one near campus that he likes to go to. And that's where we started having trouble a few months ago."

"You told me about meeting him at the gun range."

"I left out the part where Cupid thought he should make Aaron and I fall for each other." Hannah looked down at her hands and when she collected her thoughts she looked back up and said. "Spencer, I never knew how to tell you about all of this, but it shouldn't have come out this late and because you've stopped trusting me. I never should have lost your trust. I screwed everything up. Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you." Spencer said as he got up and busied himself with his own bags.

Hannah's eyes followed him.

"You've been talking to me for the past ten minutes like you're mad at me."

"That's how you perceived it."

"Perceived it." Hannah said under her breath. "And are you going to profile my behavior now?"

"No. I'm going to take you out to dinner." Spencer pulled a dark shopping bag out of his luggage. "Shower and change. We're going to a nice restaurant."

"Come on Spencer, be honest with me and with yourself. Are you mad at me?"

"No." Spencer said as he looked up at her. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I'm flirting with your boss." When Spencer glanced away and down, Hannah grew curious at his change in behavior and pushed him for what bothered him. "What is it?"

"I kissed JJ the night we went to the football game."

The room fell quiet as Spencer's words sank in.

"What?" Hannah said after a long minute. "Why did you tell me about that before?"

"Because we felt embarrassed about it. The kiss felt awkward. JJ and I agreed not to tell anyone." Spencer looked at her with urgency in his eyes. "You can't tell anyone. Especially Morgan."

"Spencer, I would never dream of telling Derek."

"And you can't tell Hotch."

"Of course I won't tell Aaron."

"Really?" Spencer said very fast, and Hannah knew he didn't believe her.

"Yes! I won't!" Hannah lost her cool and leapt off the bed. "This is why I asked you if you're mad at me Spencer, because of Aaron. Come on! Be honest with me. Did you withhold your nightmares from me because you thought I would tell Aaron about them?"

"No." Spencer said just as fast as he when he displayed his skepticism.

"Really? Because just a few minutes ago you said you don't trust me when it comes to Aaron Hotchner."

"Okay, yes. I didn't tell you about my nightmares because I thought you were going to tell Hotch. I don't know what information is safe from him. He's your best friend. You tell him everything."

"That is not true!"

"Did you call him after our fight?"

"I texted him but he never responded. I went home with Jenna. She's my best friend and the one who knows everything, about you, Aaron, everybody and every single thing. Jenna's my best friend who hears everything and I vent to. Not Aaron. I don't tell him everything. That's Jenna. Mainly because I feel I can talk about guys and sex with another woman but not with a guy I have insane sexual tension with who's married. Or a guy who has only had sex with me!" Hannah's eyes grew wider and she covered her mouth with her hands before she spoke against her palms. "I'm sorry Spencer. That didn't come out the way I wanted it to."

Spencer ignored her outburst and subsequent rant as he continued with his own inquires.

"You went back to the bar after our fight? You were already drunk. When did you call Jenna?"

"I know I was already drunk. Why did you think we fought? I freaked out because you were bragging about something you shouldn't have. I went back to the bar because I didn't want to go home with you. I went to Martin's Tavern. Half an hour later I called Jenna for a ride. Aaron never showed up."

"When was the next time you talked to Hotch after that night?" Spencer said the moment she finished yelling at him.

Sometimes Hannah worried about Spencer's auditory processing, and she wondered about it again now. He didn't even register her accusation that he bragged about Texas. The note in her back pocket had Spencer's auditory intake underlined. That needed a seperate conversation, later.

"I saw Aaron the next morning. He came over to Jenna's to talk and we had a fight." Hannah paused and took a deep breath. "He left for work, I went to work, and after your latest case he stormed into my office and yelled at me for keeping your nightmares from him and keeping him out of the loop after we agreed to keep each other in the loop because I perceived your behavior after Texas as somewhat troubling and I told Aaron so!"

"Hannah! Why would you tell him that?"

"Because I was worried about you and you were withholding!"

"I couldn't talk to you, you were drunk and freaking out about my job! What did you tell Hotch?"

"That you were deflecting on the Texas case. Are you going to deny it?"

"No, but that's none of Hotch's business."

"You weren't alone with the gunman on that train Spencer! Elle was with you. And if something puts a member of his team off their game, then it is his business."

"Not this! I told you before I had the situation on the train under control and I did."

"Then why the deflection?"

"Because the hostage taker reminded me of my mother!" Spencer lowered his voice as he walked over to the window. "He had a voice in his head named Leo. I thought of the voices my mother hears."

"Schizophrenia." Hannah said under her breath before she spoke louder. "Why couldn't you have just told me the truth that night?"

"I wanted to, but it just felt easier not to."

The possibility of inheriting his mother's mental illness scared Spencer more than anything else in the world. More than the dark scared him. As the daughter of famous psychologist parents, Hannah could understand his fear better than most people, but not as he did. She had no mental illness in her lineage, though sometimes she wondered if her parents withheld something from her and Matthew.

"I need to finish changing for dinner." Hannah said as she grabbed her toiletry bag out off her luggage and walk away.

The conversation needed an abrupt death, but Spencer disagreed.

"We're not done talking about Hotch." Spencer said as Hannah reached for the bathroom door.

She stopped and half turned.

"What more do you want me to say Spencer?"

"I want to know that you won't tell Hotch everything about me or about us. We deserve our privacy. I deserve my privacy."

"Fine, but that's a two way street Spencer."

"What?"

"You want to keep some things private from Aaron, I'm sure he'll want to keep some things private from you, especially when it comes to his relationship with me."

"I thought nothing was going on."

"Nothing's thing going on, save for the sexual tension."

"Don't forget the kiss."

"Yes, let's not forget the one fucking kiss Spencer. That's all that's going to happen."

"For now."

The second he said it Spencer realized his mistake. Hannah marched into the bathroom and slammed the door. Spencer could hear through the door the unmistakable sound of her bag hitting the wall.

"Wait!" Spencer crossed the room and opened the bathroom door, surprised Hannah hadn't locked it. "Hannah, I didn't mean it that way."

"Bullshit. Don't you ever call me the other woman. I don't sleep with married men, Spencer! Haley is my friend. I would never betray her by sleeping with her husband! And Aaron would never cheat on her."

"You took it the wrong way Hannah. I was referring to the divorce rate for FBI agents."

"Spencer, I swear if you quote a statistic at me I will get back on a plane. I came to Vegas this weekend so we could spend time together and have fun, not argue about the Hotchner's and divorce rates in the FBI! The fighting stops now and we go have fun this weekend, or I say hello to Diana before I catch a flight home. We barely get any time alone, away from everybody and everything in DC, so I am not going to waste another minute of this weekend fighting with you." Hannah stared right into Spencer's eyes the entire time, and he made a mental note that he should never cross her. "Can we please go out to dinner now?"

"I'm sorry." Spencer meant it. "I never meant to start a fight."

"Can we just talk about this after the weekend? Take some time to think about everything and have a civil discussion in a few days?"

"Yes." Spencer nodded as he glanced past her. "Go shower and we can eat."

"Where did you make reservations?"

"Il Mulino." Spencer said with a grin.

The reservations required a small favor for an old high school friend, but Spencer didn't care. Hannah loved that restaurant.

"Are you serious? Give me fifteen minutes!" Hannah opened her toiletry bag and dumped the contents onto the counter as she searched for her shampoo, conditioner, hairbrush, and blow dryer. "Can I see your outfit?"

"You'll see after your shower. I'm going to change now. Close the door and no peeking."

With a wink Hannah closed the door and Spencer didn't hear anything from her for the next ten minutes as she showered and he changed.

"Spencer can you bring me the red dress in my bag?" Hannah called through the bathroom door. "I promise I won't peek at what you're wearing."

"You can see. I don't mind." Spencer dug through the bag until he found a red dress he did not recognize. "Got it!"

"It's new! And can you take these clothes and just put them on the bed?"

"Yes." Spencer knocked once and said. "Exchange."

"Here." Hannah opened the door wrapped in a big towel, and as she traded her plane clothes for the dress, she checked Spencer out. "Looking good Spencer."

"Thank you." Spencer said and felt heat on his cheeks.

"Five more minutes." Hannah kissed him on the cheek and closed the door. "Okay?"

"You know I'm going to time that."

"Because you're neurotic that way! Besides, when have I ever finished in the time I said I would?"

"Four point eight percent of the time."

"I am not a statistic Spencer!"

"Everything is a statistic!"

Spencer said it as a joke and could just see Hannah rolling her eyes at him in the mirror.

"Oh really? And what's the statistic of women killing their boyfriends and claiming temporary insanity?"

The threat Hannah had used before, though never in earnest. She used it as a signal that his statistics obsession bugged her and he should stop.

"I'll stop talking statistics."

"Thank you!" Hannah said before she turned the blower dryer on.

Spencer laughed at her, low enough that she couldn't hear him even with the blow dryer turned off. He picked her clothes up off the bed and a sheet of paper fell out of the back pocket. After it bounced off his foot, he set the clothes back down. Glancing at the bathroom door and his watch, Spencer picked up the sheet and unfolded it. For a few seconds he stared at one side, then the other, refolded the paper and placed it back in her pocket. He looked at the bathroom door, then his watch again, sat down on the bed, and waited. Eight minutes after she asked for five more minutes, Hannah reappeared from the bathroom. Spencer looked up and his jaw dropped.

The new red dress made her look like she just came down from Mount Olympus for an evening out with him. At that moment, he forgot about the fight and Hotch. Instead, Spencer thought he couldn't have any more currency in luck. He'd spent it all for her. Spencer knew what he wanted to do with Hannah after dinner. Maybe even before.


	12. What Fresh Hell?

Chapter 12

**What Fresh Hell?**

The morning after the team returned from Tennessee, Aaron stopped in front of Hannah's office door at six a.m. with two coffees in his hands. When he thought about getting coffee, he also thought about seeing Hannah, and drove through her faculty parking lot before picking up the drinks. Now he looked at the two coffees, the closed door, and back at the coffees again. No one else hung out in the hallway this early and most of the other professors had not arrived yet. So he stacked one coffee on top of the other and opened the door, at the same moment wondering if he should have knocked first. Hannah looked up from her sofa and when Aaron saw her, he chuckled before closing the door behind him. She had on cutoff jean shorts and a halter top. Her sneakers lay under a chair a few feet away, her classroom clothes on the seat. Aaron couldn't sit with her, as she took up the whole love seat. Her legs hung off one end.

"Damn. I knew I should have locked that door."

Hannah set the paper she just finished grading on the ground before she picked up another one.

Whether or not Hannah meant that as a joke, Aaron didn't know. He shrugged it off as he stared at her, his body still propping the door open.

"What in the world?" Aaron said as his eyes traveled down her legs.

"What's wrong with this?" Hannah said as she motioned her clothing. "I'm dressed and I'm comfortable. It's six in the freaking morning and I promised my students I would give them back their papers today, so I'm going to wear what I want right now."

"I like it."

Aaron grinned wider until Hannah gave him a foul look and he stopped. Hannah sniffed the air.

"That coffee?"

"Yes."

"For me?"

"Depends on if I can have a seat."

"Move the clothes."

"On the sofa."

They both looked at Hannah's bare legs and after she thought about it for a few seconds, Hannah scooted up and curled her legs up against her body. When she gave him the nod of permission, Aaron sat and handed her one coffee. As she sipped, Hannah closed her eyes and smiled.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Feel less cranky now?"

"Yes." Hannah said in a very slow and very low voice as she peered at Aaron through slitted eyelids.

"Did you have fun in Vegas?"

"Yes." Hannah said as she took another sip. "Good food, good entertainment, Diana's always a riot. We had fun. You?"

"Spent it with Haley and Jack. I wish the weekend didn't have to end."

"I know what you mean."

Hannah gave him a knowing smile before she took another sip. A quick blush flew over Aaron's cheeks but he regained his composure and asked a question that made Hannah squirm in her corner of the sofa.

"We haven't spoken since you said you would talk with Reid."

"Students handed in one paper and asked for their grades from the previous." Hannah drank a gulp and kept going. "Besides, you guys took off for Tennessee on Monday morning."

"Reid didn't say anything to me about your weekend." Aaron said again.

After a pause long enough for a deep breath, Hannah lowered her coffee and looked Aaron in the eye.

"That's because he wants his privacy back."

"His privacy."

"Yes, his privacy. Spencer didn't tell me about the nightmares because he doesn't believe I keep his confidences. He has a point."

"But you don't tell me everything."

"And I told him that. I tell Jenna everything and I told him that. He knew about Jenna but it's going to take some time before he believes that I'm not blabbing all his secrets to you. So, I've decided to stop talking to you about Spencer."

"Okay. That makes sense." As Aaron studied her for a moment, he picked up a hint of sadness from her eyes. "Are you two all right?"

"We're better now that we've had this talk." The way she said it made it sound final, and not just her answer, but the entire conversation and meeting.

"Good." Aaron said after a long pause as he tried coming up with something better, and longer, but couldn't think of anything after her decisive answer.

He got up and glanced at the door, but Hannah's tone stopped him.

"Wait." Hannah waited until he turned around. "You're going to want to sit back down for this."

"What's going on?" Aaron said after he sat.

"Spencer knows about us."

"Knows what?" Hotch said, but the fear in his eyes told Hannah he already knew the answer.

"That we have intense sexual tension and we've been flirting the past two years."

The bluntness of her statement did not help as Aaron absorbed the information while his eyes widened.

"How long has he known?"

"The entire time. Since the first team barbeque we attended."

"That long." Aaron went away in his head for a moment, the came back. "He's never said anything to me."

"Or to me. But he's not mad."

That earned Hannah a sideway's glance before Aaron turned his head and stared at her.

"He's not?"

"Our relationship has always been open and I've always flirted with other guys. Spencer's used to it. He saw us talking at the first team barbeque we went to and recognized my flirtation style. He also noticed that my pupil's dilate when I look at you, and your's dilate when you look at me."

"We tried to hide all of that."

"From a profiler."

"Do you think the rest of the team knows?"

"I wouldn't be surprised at all if they did. They're all profilers Aaron. Except for Pen and JJ, but they are damn smart. And observant."

"What about my wife?" Aaron interrupted her. "Do you think she knows?"

"If Haley knows anything, she would have mentioned something during our beach trip last year." Hannah allowed herself a small smile. "Your wife really can't hold her alcohol."

"I know. Jessica calls her 'Loose Lips'." Aaron said offhand, still very serious and worried. "Are you sure she doesn't know anything?"

"Haley knows we're good friends. She knows you come home every night that you're in town. She knows you'll call her if you're going to be late because you're with friends and she knows that you

sleep next to her at night. And she invited me to the hospital when she was waiting for Jack. Those are all signs that she either doesn't know about us or that she does know about our flirtations but it doesn't scare her. She's confident you have a strong marriage and won't have an affair. And I know that she is aware of my rule about married men because I told her about it at the beach." Hannah cracked under Aaron's seriousness and lost her composure, giving him a grin. "I'm fairly certain she doesn't know, but if you want confirmation I can take her back to the beach and get her drunk again. It's a fantastic interrogation technique."

The joke broke his serious demeanor and he joked back.

"You would make a good profiler, but first I recommend working on your poker face."

"Not a good idea. I would break so many laws and shoot all the unsubs."

"Does Reid know how you feel about his work?"

"Spencer knows I fear erotomaniacs and sleep with a gun under his pillow when he's out of town. Otherwise it's in my bed stand."

"Hopefully no one will ever break in."

"Agreed." Hannah poked him with her toe. "Don't worry about Haley."

"I'm trying not to." Aaron poked her toe and she pulled her foot back. "I don't want to lose her or Jack."

"You won't."

"You can't know that for sure."

"Aaron, what is the sign on my door?" Hannah pointed at her closed door, which held posters from her favorite adaptaions. "With the red slash through it?"

Aaron glanced at the door and looked at the other side through his mind's eye.

"Pessimism free zone?"

"Exactly. Now this is usually where I say let's go to the bar, but you have to go to work and hunt down bad guys, and I have papers to finish grading."

"Or we could both call in sick and go have fun like a couple of college students ditching classes."

"Tempted, but Spencer would figure that one out within the hour. You don't get sick and this morning when I kissed him before leaving for work, I was in perfect health."

"We'll have to plan it in advance. Next Wednesday?"

"Are you going to turn into a bad influence on me?"

"If anyone is the bad influence in this relationship, it's you."

Hannah held up her coffee with a look in her eye that made Aaron nervous.

"I hope you have a fresh shirt in your car."

"No, don't." Aaron pushed her coffee away. "I will never bring you coffee again if you do."

"Then leave your pessimism outside my door and don't call me a bad influence." Hannah said as she drank her coffee.

"Okay." Aaron saud and watched her coffee cup with a hawk's eyes and a cat's grin.

"And don't smile at me like that. It makes me not trust you."

"Why wouldn't you trust me?"

"Because you mock me."

"I would never."

"You just did."

"Then let me make it up to you."

"How?"

"I don't know." Hannah stared at him as she brought the coffee up but stopped before it touched her lips. "I'll think of something."

Their eyes met and stayed on each other until Hannah looked away first.

"Staring contests with you suck. You're too good."

"You're good too. One of the worthiest opponents I've ever met."

"Thank you. Now go to work."

Her foot darted out from beneath her, but Aaron grabbed her ankle before she could kick him in the ass.

"Are you kicking me out?" Aaron said as he tickled her toes and received a swift kick from her other foot.

"Yes. Your presence is distracting me."

"Distracting?" Aaron stared at her clothing. "I'm not the one dressed for a music festival at the beach."

After he said beach Aaron looked away but Hannah didn't notice. She laughed and prodded him with her toe.

"Get your mind out of the gutter Aaron! It's a warm day and I wasn't expecting anyone for another hour at least." She saw his eyes staring unfixed and said. "You seem distracted and by the look on your face, I don't think you're imagining me in a bikini."

"I'm worried."

"About what?"

"Reid knows, the team probably knows, Haley might kn-"

A hand pressed against his mouth, stopping him from going any further. Aaron looked over and saw a very annoyed Hannah on the other end of that hand.

"Aaron. Shut up."

With a firm nod she took her hand away, but Aaron wouldn't let the subject go.

"What exactly did Reid say to you this weekend?"

"I told you what he said."

"You gave me the highlights."

"Yes, and I also told you that Spencer wants me to stop sharing so much private information about him with you. Will you stop freaking out about this? It's not like we didn't think this would ever happen."

"I hoped this would never happen."

For five long seconds Hannah just stared at him before she rolled her eyes.

"Wow Aaron. For such a damn good profiler, you can be so blind sometimes."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means your judgement is clouded."

"You're right. It is. And you're the one who's clouding it."

"Well thank you, but I'll remind you that it's your mind. I can't cloud it alone!"

Hannah rose from the sofa in anger and headed for her desk, coffee in hand.

"Don't take it personally." Aaron said as he got up and followed her.

"That is the stupidest thing you can say, don't take it personally."

"You know how you effect me Hannah."

"You're the one who showed up at my office at six in the morning with coffee."

"I didn't expect you would dress like this."

"Oh shut up! I'm not wearing lingerie. You just showed up without calling, without even knocking, so don't blame me for your clouded judgement! Four fingers point back at you."

Hannah set her coffee cup down on her desk seconds before Aaron's fingers grasped her elbow and spun her around. He pulled her in and kissed her, his arms enveloping her. Hannah reacted with her body and not her mind, kissing him back as her arms climbed his chest. When his hands went under her shirt and she felt skin on skin, Hannah's mind turned back on and she recognized their situation. Aaron found himself pushed away, just before he recognized his mistake.

"I'm sorry." Aaron said.

"Damn you, and me." Hannah shoved him again. "What were you thinking?"

"Thought had nothing to do with it."

"Obviously. Don't you feel that we've had enough trouble? Then you go and kiss me."

"You kissed me back!"

"Shut up Aaron! I promised Spencer our last kiss was our one and only. You made me a liar!"

That floored Aaron, Reid knowing about their kiss.

"You told him we kissed?" Aaron's voice got louder. "Why would you do that? Why did you tell him we kissed?"

"Don't you dare lecture me about what I tell Spencer."

"Then you shouldn't make promises you can't keep, and you shouldn't tell him things that will hurt my working relationship with him."

"Get your head out of your ass Aaron. Spencer won't bring it up." Hannah pointed at the door. "Now get the hell out."

"We need to talk about this Hannah."

"I am done talking to you right now. Get out!"

Knowing he couldn't do anything more with Hannah this angry, Aaron shook his head and left.

* * *

"Can we get a tracker for Lily?" Spencer said the minute he walked in the door.

The last time Hannah heard from him, he sent a text stating the team's destination as Delaware. Missing child case. So she at least suspected what ran through his mind right now.

"Hi Spencer." Hannah smiled big and fake, something she did when she needed a smile from Spencer, like at parties. "Why does Lily need a tracker?"

Instead of smiling, Spencer nodded and sat down at the kitchen table across from her. He tried sounding not manic and upset, but he couldn't stop thinking of Lily.

"We just worked a kidnapping case in Delaware. Luckily the little girl survived, but we were called in twenty hours after she dissappeared."

"Twenty hours? The FBI is called in immediately on these cases. What were the cops thinking?"

"They thought the little girl's father picked her up. She called him minutes before she vanished. But when he finally got her mom's messages and called her to say he didn't have his daughter, it was the next morning."

"Now I understand why you want Lily to have a tracker."

"I'll research trackers."

"I'll talk to Matt and Ally. Though they might not go for it."

"I can convince them."

No one understood that statement better than Hannah. Long before Spencer opened up with her and unloaded everything that scared or bothered him, Aaron did the same. Haley didn't like hearing about his work, and Spencer didn't like talking about it, so the compromise came soon after their friendship started. Aaron told Hannah about his cases going all the way back. Spencer didn't know this. Hannah wanted it that way.

"Spencer, don't scare them. They don't ask about your work for very good reasons."

"They can't always live in a happy bubble."

"Interesting way to put it. They don't live in a happy bubble. They are both very aware of the dangers out there. And I'm not just talking about stranger danger. Lily knows that the people she's closest to can hurt her and that if that happens she should not keep it a secret. Matt and Ally are covering everything, Spencer. They're not stupid."

"I never said they are."

"I never said you did."

"Have you talked to Hotch since we got back from Vegas?"

"Nice segway. Not." Hannah said loud enough that Spencer could hear her before she answered his question. "Yes, I talked to him. He came by my office with coffee right after the team got back from Tennessee and I outlined the highlights of our conversation. He understands that you want your privacy and he's sorry that he made you feel that you can't confide in me."

"Did you tell him I know about the flirting?"

"Yes, and he is appropriately mortified."

"He hasn't said anything."

"Because Aaron's mortified Spencer. This hasn't been easy for either of us. Aaron is married and devoted to Haley, but he can't help how he feels about me same as I can't help how I feel about him. He's not going to bring it up with you because that's an awkward conversation he does not want to have. I think Aaron would rather have the birds and the bees talk with Jack and two stunning daughters than talk to you about his feelings for me. So please don't bring it up with him."

"Okay." Spencer said as he nodded in agreement. "I wouldn't want to have that talk with him either."

"Excellent. Now can we drop it and talk about something else?"

"Do you want to get Japanese food? I feel like sushi."

"Sushi. Yes." Hannah's said as she stood up and came around the table. "But I have an idea."

"What?" Spencer said as he looked up at her.

"Now just keep an open mind about this." Hannah knelt and whispered in his ear, and as she did so, his eyes grew wide and his jaw feel toward the floor. "How does that sound?"

"Do you know any sushi places that deliver?"

Hannah smiled.


	13. Poison

Chapter 13

**Poison**

"I need to talk to you." Aaron said as he walked into Hannah's office and closed the door behind him. "I can't stop thinking about you or our last fight, even while working this poisoning case in New Jersey. This has to stop."

Hannah closed her grade book and stood up, coming around the side of her desk toward him.

"I couldn't agree more, but we're not having this conversation in my office. We've kissed twice in this office."

"I'm not going to kiss you." Aaron said after a long moment.

His less than immediate reaction earned an eye roll from Hannah and she turned back towards her desk, her eyes searching for her purse.

"You say that now but you just walked in and started an argument with me. The last time we argued in here, you kissed me. I know we need to talk about this, but we're not discussing it where no one can see us and we can get away with behavior like that."

Hannah didn't see her purse or phone on the desk and turned back around to find Aaron standing in front of her.

"Shut up." Aaron said before he slipped one hand behind her neck and the other under her butt, lifting her up and setting her body against his as he kissed her.

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders and legs around his waist, Hannah kissed him back.

"Lock the door lock the door lock the door." Hannah said when Aaron stopped kissing her mouth and moved his lips down the nape of her neck.

He backed up, one hand holding her up as he searched behind him for the doorknob. Hannah found the knob first and locked it. With the door locked, Aaron turned them around and set her against the wood, but after a few seconds Hannah remembered a few classes getting out in a couple of minutes. She tapped on his shoulder and tried taking back control of her mouth, but he tasted too good to release. Aaron agreed too, seeing as how he didn't explore her neck again as his kisses turned passionate and a bit aggressive. Hannah turned aggressive too, pulling his tie loose and running her nails through his hair. She heard a groan from Aaron when she did that. He responded by putting a hand under her blouse, running his fingers over her skin and under her bra. A minute passed during all of this before Hannah heard voices coming down the hallway. After a couple jabs Aaron stopped kissing her.

"What?"

"Students in the hallway. Not against the door."

Aaron nodded and carried her over to the sofa. The moment he set her down, he started unbuttoning her trousers, but she stopped that with a sharp slap on his hand. Aaron misinterpreted that she wanted to do it herself and went back to kissing her. With his weight on top of her and his continuing kisses covering her mouth, Hannah found it very difficult to pull her head away and stop him. She liked his lips on her's, and his hand on her breast, but when his free hand went back to her trouser zipper and then his own, she stuck her knuckles in his sternum and pushed him up.

"Hannah!" Aaron said in pain.

He found his mouth covered by her hand as she glanced at the door behind him and put a finger against her lips. He nodded and when she too her hand away he started kissing her again. For two seconds Hannah kissed him back, but pushed him away again.

"No, we have to stop. We have to stop right now or we will cross that line and I don't want to cross that line." Hannah looked right into his eyes and said, "Aaron, you don't want to cross that line either."

Silent and a bit ashamed, Aaron backed away and zipped his pants, then settled back onto the sofa when Hannah moved her feet.

"Hannah, I'm so sorry."

"It's not just you. What the fuck are we doing?" Aaron glanced over at her, his eyes wide as the color drained from his face. "Okay, bad word choice."

"I shouldn't have done that. I said I wouldn't kiss you and then five seconds later I'm kissing you."

"Aaron, I kissed you back."

They both fell quiet after that, Hannah watching Aaron as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. The silence felt peaceful. Without trying, they both found a breathing pattern to calm them. Even the tension in the room dissipated until it vanished. All they had left felt right, felt comfortable.

Aaron startled Hannah when he reached over and took her hand, placing it on his chest.

"Feel my heart rate."

She did so for half a minute before replying.

"You're calm."

"I am."

He turned and grabbed her, setting a struggling Hannah on his lap facing him.

"Aaron!" Hannah stopped fighting and straddled him, staring at him in surprise and anger. "What is this?"

"I'm in control Hannah."

"In control of what, exactly?"

"Myself when I'm with you."

"You said you didn't have the strength for that."

"It's mind over matter."

"Mind over matter. Isn't mind just as much a problem for us as matter?"

"I'll show you." Aaron said as he placed her other hand over her heart. "Feel your heartbeat."

"Okay. I can feel it."

"Now control your breathing."

"Breathing? What happened to mind over matter?"

"I never said it was going to be easy, and I never said that was all there was to it."

"Fine. Breathing." Hannah slowed down her breathing until she felt in control again and said, "Like this?"

"Good. Now think of something that will keep you from crossing the line." When Hannah raised her eyebrows at him, Aaron grinned and said, "Trust me. Think of it."

It took just a few seconds and then Hannah knew it.

"I have it."

"How do you feel?"

"Feel? Like I'm at a high school party. Why am I sitting on your lap?"

"Temptation."

"Wonderful."

"But you're not tempted right now, are you?"

"No, because I'm thinking of the consequences."

"Exactly."

"Nice trick. Where did you come up with it?"

"I just did. Thought I'd give it a shot."

"So you didn't know if it would work?"

"It worked for me. I had to see if it could work for you."

"It is."

"Good."

"Aaron," Hannah glanced away for a moment before she looked him in the eyes and said, "Why haven't we said the words?"

"The words?"

"You know which words I'm speaking of. Why haven't we said them even once these past two years?"

"We never needed to say them."

"Why?"

"We see the words in our eyes." Aaron smiled as he said, "And I did not mean for that to sound as corny as it did."

"Don't worry. I understand what you mean."

"Good."

"So you see them in my eyes?"

"Every time we look at each other. Don't you see them in mine?"

"Yes," Hannah set her head on Aaron's chest and said, "And it drives me crazy."

Touching her hair and kissing the top of her head, Aaron said the words that drove them both crazy.

"We want what we can't have."

Against her better judgement, Hannah slipped her hand under Aaron's dress shirt and caressed his chest. When he made no move to stop her, she stared into his eyes.

"You want to screw me on this sofa."

"So do you."

Hannah pulled her hand away and slipped off his lap, preferring to sit next to him on the sofa, instead of on top of him.

"You're impossible Aaron."

"As are you but that doesn't make me want to leave."

They didn't speak again for a few minutes, or look at each other. Hannah tapped out a tune on the ball of her foot, while Aaron looked at her wall decorations behind him. Just as he noticed something new, Hannah grabbed his tie and directed his attention back to her. The look on her face, and the fact she sat on her knees facing him, told Aaron she had to get something cleared away. He touched her hand expecting one thing, but she drew it away and folded her hands on her lap.

"Aaron, I don't want you leaving your wife for me. If you did that, I wouldn't let you have me."

After a short pause to absorb her meaning, Aaron nodded.

"I know. That's one of the things I love about you the most Hannah. You won't compromise your morals. For anyone. Even those you love."

Hannah's head fell back on his chest as she tightened her jaw. Tears threatened to flow and Hannah swallowed before she spoke. She couldn't let her voice crack. It would lead to one thing, then another, and cause them both more pain and misery than they felt even now.

"Why did I have to go and fall in love with you? I think I may go mad."

With a squeeze to reassure her, Aaron looked to take her mind off the subject.

"I won't let you go mad, but since we're on the subject, did you add something new to your wall of crazy?"

Hannah burst into a short fit of giggles and had to wipe the tears away. It felt good to cry from a laugh, and not an emotional episode.

"Wall of crazy?" Hannah said once he collected herself. "Why do you always insist on calling it that?"

"Because you have a collage of villainous and psychotic literary characters going back centuries. It's a wall of crazy Hannah."

"Point taken. I like my collage. And yes, something's new."

"What?" Aaron said as he want back to staring at it.

As she pointed to it, Hannah whispered in his ear.

"The best of Shakespearian insults."

With a shake of his head, Aaron turned back to her.

"Where do you even find these things?"

"A friend and a colleague gave it to me. We find it amusing for slightly different reasons. Her specialty is forensic linguistics. You may know her. She left the FBI a few years ago."

"Alex Blake?"

"Yes."

"I didn't know you two were friends."

"Spencer introduced us."

"He knows her?"

"He's guest lectured in her class."

"Why am I not surprised."

"You like the poster?"

A smile grew on Aaron's face as he stared at her, and the larger his smile became, the more furrowed her forehead became.

"You English professors." Arron said and fended of a light punch the next second.

"Hey! I will tell you the same thing I told Spencer. You start on the English jokes and I will come right back at you with the lawyer and the psychology jokes, and you know I have a whole arsenal of psychology jokes at my disposal thanks to my parents, and plenty of lawyer jokes too."

"Okay, okay! Truce?"

"Truce." Hannah said as she burrowed in at Aaron's side, her arms wrapped around him, her head resting on his upper chest.

Settling back on the sofa, Aaron pulled her closer.

"This feels good. Just sitting here with you."

"I agree." Hannah tapped his leg with her knee. "Take off your shoes."

"Why?"

"I rarely wear shoes in my office. Take yours off and get comfortable. The tie needs to go too."

"What do you have against my ties?"

"They're either an implement to strangle you with when you're uptight and humorless, or a device for holding you hostage as I kiss you."

"I disagree with the first and embrace the second."

"We're not doing that, now take it off."

"Just what exactly are we doing once I take off my shoes and tie?" Aaron said as he removed both articles.

"We are going to sit here and enjoy each others company until you have to leave. We can do this quietly, just sitting in silence, or we can talk. I don't prefer one over the other, so it's up to you."

"We're going to be interrupted by a student, aren't we?"

"Now that you've jinxed it we will."

"Then I'll knock on wood."

"You would have to get up to knock on wood." Hannah tightened her grip around his torso. "That's not happening."

"Then a student is going to knock on the door."

"I'll tell them to go away. Are we going to keep talking about this or are we going to find a more suitable subject to discuss or just be silent?"

"I did walk in here with a purpose."

"I remember, and there is no suitable solution to that issue besides avoiding making out or having sex. We should work harder on that."

"Yes, that is a major issue, but the problem I walked in here with is how I can't get you off my mind."

"I have a solution to your problem of thinking about me even when you're working a case."

"What's your solution?"

"Pinch yourself."

"What?"

"It works. I do it all the time. Just the webbing of your hand is enough to do it."

"I'll try that, but I don't think it will be enough."

"Aaron, you're married with a son and you're in love with your subordinate's girlfriend who won't engage in a sexual relationship with a married man, which gives you no outlet for your frustrations. You'll have to make this work."

"Good point. I've never met anyone more frustrating that you. That's including Reid."

"He grows on you."

"He has. What's the trick for getting him off his rants?"

"Distraction. Also, getting him back on task and to the main point works a lot of the time. Are you having trouble with him?"

"No."

"Has he said anything about us?"

"Since Vegas? No."

"What about before Vegas?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary."

"He told me Haley invited us to dinner. You never even mentioned it."

"I thought it would be awkward, and ever since we found out Reid knows how extensive our relationship is, I've started to wonder how much Haley knows."

"Stop being paranoid Aaron. We discussed this already."

"I need to know for certain."

"Then I'll find out for you." Hannah looked up at him without lifting her head off his chest. "Just please stop worrying."

"Agreed." Aaron kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

They fell back into a peaceful silence, save for Aaron's heart beating in Hannah's ear. When the time came that Aaron knew he needed to head home, he took his time putting on his shoes, getting his tie straight, fixing his hair, and tucking in his shirt. Hannah watched him the entire time from the sofa, directing his grooming with helpful reminders. Once he finished, Aaron turned once in the middle of the office, then when he had Hannah's approval, he kissed her on the cheek and left.


	14. Riding The Lightning

Chapter 14

**Riding The Lightning**

When Hannah slept, she looked peaceful. Her sleeping habits hadn't changed much since they were seventeen, so sometimes Spencer looked over at her and felt like she hadn't aged a day since the night they met. A friend at MIT dragged him to a party at his older brother's Harvard fraternity after the end of pledge week. Spencer didn't want to go, but the friend was cool and popular and liked Spencer and told him the party would be fun, and that Spencer's magic tricks would be a great addition. It took several days of begging to convince Spencer, but he agreed in the end.

Halfway through the party, Spencer took a break from the magic tricks to get a drink of water and talk poker with an older male student who just got back from his twenty-first birthday in Vegas. After Spencer accepted an invite to a poker game and they parted ways, he looked up at the door when he heard a loud group come in. Hannah stood in the doorway with Jenna, laughing as she hung back from the noisy people ahead of her. They couldn't see each other well through the crowd, but they did see each other. Spencer saw Hannah's blue and green dress, and she saw his watch over his sleeve and a deck of cards in his hand.

For the next two hours, Spencer entertained with his magic tricks and Hannah stayed far away from the temptation of the drink's table. Spencer set up shop near the drink's table, and after Jenna stopped to watch about ten times as she got more and more drunk, she decided Hannah needed to see the card tricks. By the time she found Hannah and dragged her over, Spencer had vanished on another break. He never returned to the crowd waiting to see more tricks. Hannah stumbled upon him as they both stared at the alcohol bottles, Spencer's reasons scientific as he looked at the alcohol volumes, Hannah for the want of a drink. That want evaporated the moment she looked up and saw Spencer, his hair shaggy, disheveled, and a bit sweaty from the heat. He looked comfortable and not at all self-conscious. He'd left his glasses at his apartment and forgot an hour into the party that he even wore them.

Hannah pulled him away from the bottles and over to an open window with a breeze coming in. Five minutes later, after they discussed their majors and interests, Spencer grabbed her hand and tried leading her up to the roof to see the stars. She knew the building better, a fraternity one of her older brother's once lived in, and had them dangling their legs over the roof ledge two minutes later. They talked stars, mythology, Star Wars and Star Trek, classes, friends, and literature until the party dispersed and the guy who lived under their ledge told them to get off his roof. Their conversation continued in whispers as they snuck out of the fraternity. They wandered campus for a half hour, looked up at their surroundings at some point, and headed for the nearest apartment, Hannah's, just a few blocks off campus. Before they arrived Hannah explained her roommate situation.

She lived with an older brother, Donald. Don for short. A different brother than the one who once lived in the fraternity they went to last night. He worked at an accounting firm downtown and didn't like the stiff rules their parents set for him and Hannah co-inhabiting. He didn't want to check on her a dozen times a day and ask her all the questions their parents wanted him to ask her, so he created his own rules. So long as Hannah checked in with him, refrained from sex until she turned eighteen and alcohol until her twenty-first birthday, and did her homework, he didn't pry and he let her enjoy her freedom away from their parents and other siblings. In exchange for this, she let him stay over at his girlfriend's apartment and lied to their parents about what each of them really did. Matthew helped by warning them of impending visits. The arrangement worked well for both of them. They liked not seeing each other as much as possible. Hannah and Don didn't get along and arguments cropped up over stupid things if they had to occupy the same room for more than fifteen minutes.

Once she finished, Spencer felt uncomfortable going to her place, until she explained Don had plans with his girlfriend all weekend and wouldn't come home till the evening. That gave them a few hours to crash and catch up on the sleep the missed out on last night. It took some convincing, but in the end Spencer agreed to sleep at her place. They slept, but did quite a bit of kissing too. Two months later, they moved in together, one month after Spencer's eighteenth birthday on the ninth of October, and one week after Hannah's birthday on Halloween.

* * *

A few hours before he flew across the country for the prison interview, Spencer slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Hannah. The night before she made margarita's with extra rum. Each time she left her drink alone, Spencer poured a little of his into her glass. Now he felt guilty and so decided to make her breakfast and give her an extra half hour of sleep. He skipped showering, worried that the sound of running water would wake her. Downstairs, he straightened up the mess from last night and moved the furniture back, then headed into the kitchen.

As the pancakes sizzled on the griddle, each the size of a silver dollar, Hannah stumbled down the stairs and ran into every piece of furniture she'd moved the night before. Each time she cursed and questioned the offending piece.

"Morning Hannah." Spencer said in a whisper before Hannah even entered the kitchen.

She heard him and under her breath told him what kind of morning he could have. For a moment Spencer wondered if Hotch ever saw this side of her, and how he reacted to the storm if he did.

"You almost put me into a coma last night slipping me half your drink." Hannah said as she sunk onto a kitchen chair and plopped her head down on her arms.

"Babe, if any night of drinking alcohol could have put you into a coma, it was definitely the Russian girl's party."

"My necklace! Don't remind me of that. Don had a conniption fit when he found out. He told me I never should have been entrusted with it."

Neither brought up the fact that the party happened when she turned twenty one, so she had the right to drink, or that the necklace fell off because Spencer accidentally unclasped it as he caressed the back of her neck while she threw up. His guilt over that compelled the years long search for a diamond replacement. They didn't tell Don who really lost the necklace because of Don's temper and Hannah took on the guilt because she knew she shouldn't have worn the necklace to her first drinking party, even if it went well with her costume.

"Also, you drink at least five times what you drank last night every time you go to the bar with Jenna."

Hannah raised her head off her arms so she could stare daggers into the back of his head. He felt her eyes on him and busied himself with flipping each pancake.

"Spencer, stop talking about alcohol."

"Want to talk about pancakes?"

"Pancakes?"

The uptick in her tone gave Spencer hope that his cooking would buy her forgiveness. He did make great pancakes. Hannah requested them when sick, hungover, or annoyed at something in her day and the fact she couldn't chill out and relax with a joint. In college when he went with her to parties and they ended up staying the night, he would take over the kitchen in the morning and make comfort food for everyone.

Spencer motioned to the preparations set up on the counter as he walked over to the cabinet where they kept the syrup.

"Pancakes made with buttermilk and served with melted butter and we have problem because we don't have any syrup."

The empty space on the shelf presented a problem. Spencer calculated how long it would take him to run to the nearest supermarket, using about a dozen variables such as how long he needed to put on appropriate clothes, wind speed and traffic, while weighing them against leaving Hannah to make sure the pancakes didn't burn. At this point he didn't believe she would leave him any in retaliation for what he did last night.

Growing up the youngest with as many brothers and sisters as she had, Hannah learned early in life the art of retribution. Most of the time the stories he heard or the situations he witnessed made him laugh at her siblings mistake of crossing her, but sometimes Hannah also scared him. Hotch told him about the paper target with the perforated belly. Spencer didn't mention that he'd seen Hannah do that before, when they were eighteen and her grandfather gave her the revolver.

"I used up the syrup last time you were out of town on a case."

Spencer did the math on that in his head in two seconds but took another three before he pointed out the problem.

"That was a week ago Hannah. You haven't bought more?"

"Sorry." Hannah shrugged as she gave him a lopsided smile, both signs she really wasn't sorry. "We can always just dip the pancakes in the butter. You made silver dollars, right?"

"Yes I made silver dollars." Spencer closed the cabinet and started transporting breakfast from the counter and stovetop on to the kitchen table. "Buy syrup before I get back tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Oh yeah!" Hannah snagged a silver dollar pancake and devoured it without butter as she spoke. "The prison interview in California. When do you leave?"

"As soon as Hotch calls."

"Speaking of Hotch, I need to talk to both of you about something, but separately, so now would be a good time for us to talk about it."

"What do you need to talk to us about individually?"

"In Vegas you admitted you kept your nightmares from me because you thought I would tell Hotch, and then you said you want your privacy."

"I do want my privacy, and why are you calling him Hotch? You've always called him by his first name."

"I'm hungover and tired and what does it matter? I'm trying to tell you I think I've come up with a solution that will allow all of us to keep certain things private yet continue to talk freely and keep our relationships on good terms."

"What's your solution?"

"The confidences rule."

"The what rule?" Spencer said through his laughter, even though Hannah gave him a withering glare.

"Don't laugh at me! I can't think of a smarter sounding way of saying it. Not this early in the morning." Hannah ate a few more small pancakes, all without the butter, before she said it again. "The confidences rule. Will you listen to me as I explain it?"

"I'm listening."

"Say you tell me something that you want to be absolutely positive I won't even mention in passing to Aaron or anyone else, and Aaron tells me something he doesn't want me to mention to you or anybody. All you have to do is invoke the confidences rule and then I can't say anything about the secret to anybody."

"Confidence. Now it makes sense."

"But I do reserve the right to pester you or Aaron to share the secret with someone else if I feel too burdened by the secret or I think the secret should not by kept inside, but I won't tell the secret. It's for you and Aaron to open up about. And I get to invoke the confidences rule too."

Once she finished Hannah watched Spencer as he thought about the rules and ate his pancakes. After five pancakes he nodded.

"I think that sounds perfectly fair and reasonable."

"All of it?"

"Yes, but you realize Hotch and I can also pester you to open up to someone else about your secret."

"Of course."

"Did you already suggest this to him?"

"No, I came up with it last night as you were plying me with alcohol."

"If anyone was plying anyone with alcohol last night it was you! I saw how much you poured in my drink. I was just trying to avoid a hangover. You can handle alcohol a lot better than I can."

"It wouldn't have been that bad. You've had worse hangovers. I saw you after my brothers abducted you in the Hamptons."

Spencer shivered at the memory, but it looked so comical that Hannah cracked under the pressure of trying not to laugh at him, and started giggling. She got a pancake flipped at her from the tip of a fork, and then Spencer started laughing too.

* * *

The day after the team returned from California in the wee hours of the morning, Spencer crawling into bed and trying not to wake her, Hannah lounged in her office, laying upside down on her sofa as she read. Her own classes over, no appointments on her schedule, and no papers to grade, she looked forward to the few hours she had to herself this evening. Hidden from view under her tea table and the sarong she draped over it, Hannah kept a stack of action adventure and cop serial paperbacks. One of her guilty pleasures. Tonight she decided she would dive into one with a very charismatic cop named Davenport, but a third of the way through it, her own real life version of Davenport tried opening her office door to find it locked.

"Hannah, open the door. I knew you're in there reading your guilty pleasures."

"Will you shut up?" Hannah shoulder rolled off the sofa and lunged for the door, fumbling with the lock until she could open it and glare at Aaron. "Don't say things like that out in the hallway where someone will hear you!"

"Calm down." Aaron said with a face splitting grin as he gestured at the empty hallway. "There's no one out here."

He grinned at the mild discomfort and panic he just put her through, so Hannah crossed her arms and glared at him, not inviting him in.

"What are you even doing here? You know this is my night for reading whatever the hell I want to."

"Haley kicked me out."

At that, Hannah's eyes lit up.

"Finally!" Hannah pulled him inside and closed and locked the door behind her as she said, "What took her so long?"

Worried that Hannah might instigate a kiss or more, Aaron put his hands up between them and spoke before she could step away from the door.

"I'm kidding Hannah! It was a joke."

"I know." Hannah said with a smile as she unlocked the door then sank onto her sofa. "I'm just teasing you."

"Teasing? Don't do that to me. You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"We both know the blood wasn't just rushing to your heart."

"That's just cruel."

"You think I'm immune to it? You walked in here with a joke about Haley kicking you out and I nearly forgot my own rules or..." Hannah shook her head "never mind. Let's not get into that. I'm changing the subject, or at least getting us back on track. Define 'Haley kicked me out' because now I'm just confused."

Aaron eyed the empty seat on the sofa and accepted it when Hannah touched the cushion, giving him permission.

"She and Jessica took Jack to a friend's baby shower."

"You are so lucky they didn't drag you along."

"I know."

"But that doesn't explain why you've decided to come bug me when I was looking forward to a this."

When she gestured to the book she'd dropped on the floor, Aaron caught half the title, something Prey. He read one once and endorsed the detective's unorthodox style of investigation. As Hannah picked it up and put it back in its hiding place, he told her what he came for.

"I was mistakenly under the impression that you would take pity on me and accept my invitation to hamburgers and beer at my house, but I suppose I could find someone else."

Hannah perked up in an instant and jumped off the sofa, grabbing his hands and dragging him up.

"You had me at hamburgers. Or beer. They were really close together."

"I thought I would get you at pity."

"Maybe if you hadn't overacted it."

"What?" Aaron put a dramatic hand to his chest. "I never overact. I can't act. Just ask Haley."

"I have." Hannah said through a devilish grin. "We had a hilarious conversation about your attempts to manipulate us through your acting."

Aaron's eyes widened and he lost a shade of color on his face when Hannah said that.

"Please tell me you're joking."

"No. Let's go." Hannah left the office, dragging Aaron by his wrist, and she moved so fast he had no choice but to keep pace with her until he let go of him. "We need to pick up some beer to go with our burgers."

"I have a six pack in the fridge at home."

She stopped and dropped his wrist as she turned to face him.

"Haley bought you beer?"

"Haley bought us beer. She knows you and I can only agree on Heineken's."

"Did she tell you to hang out with me tonight?"

"She said you can have me until eight thirty, then she'll be home."

"But she didn't mean-"

"No, she did not mean that." Aaron cut her off mid-sentence and glanced down the empty hall behind her much as she had just glanced down the empty hall behind him when she spoke. "But speaking of that, how are you going to find out how much she knows about our relationship?"

"It involves alcohol and she can't be breastfeeding, so I thought I would do that during our spring break beach trip."

"Spring break? That's all the way in March!"

"Aaron, either I do it my way, which is this way, or you can do it yourself. Up to you."

After two seconds, Aaron handed the full task to her.

"I'll let you talk to her. The conversation will go easier if she's inebriated."

"Or you are." Hannah said as she turned and walked out of the building.

Aaron ran to catch up with her.

* * *

An hour later they both acted like the disagreement in the University hallway hadn't happened, and sat down to eat their fresh burgers and drink beer at a picnic table in the Hotchner's backyard. After they each demolished half of their burger in a few bites, Aaron drained half his beer then spoke.

"I've been wanting to talk to you about this last case."

"Okay, but first I need to talk to you about Spencer."

"What about him?" Aaron said as he took another bite.

He didn't feel comfortable talking about Reid in this setting but didn't want Hannah to read that on his face. Hannah continued, unaware of his thoughts.

"Neither of you is willing to talk to the other about this relationship you and I have, and because of it Spencer has felt that he can't confide in me, and I suspect you've felt the same at times."

When she stopped, Aaron glanced up, then set his burger down and grabbed a paper napkin off the top of the stack. Once he swallowed, he picked his words so he wouldn't start another disagreement.

"I've always assumed you wouldn't tell him what I tell you."

"You've always felt confident that I won't repeat to Spencer what you tell me? Come now. Be honest with me."

"Okay. Most of the time-"

"I knew it!"

"I've certainly felt more confident than he has."

"Well he never expected he would have to share me with his boss."

Aaron almost knocked his beer over when he reached for it in that moment. Instead, Hannah grabbed it and stared back at him, having realized what she said and how he took it.

"Share?"

"You know what I mean Aaron. I don't think he realized we would become such good friends."

"Does he think we are good friends or does he suspect that our friendship is designed this way because we can't do anything else?"

"You want to know the answer to that, you ask him."

"Hannah!"

"He knows we're good friends but he also knows the sexual tension is there, so what do you expect me to say? I can't read his mind. Can I just get to what I wanted to tell you?"

"Yes." Aaron motioned for his beer. "Can I have my beer back?"

Hannah looked down at her hand, surprised she still hand it wrapped around Aaron's beer. Without a word about the beer, she passed it back.

"I already suggested this to Spencer a few days ago and he agreed." Hannah wiped her hands on a napkin and started gesturing with her fingers. "When the two of you talk to me or I talk to one of you and a sensitive subject is discussed that we want to ensure will remain private, then invoke the confidences rule, for lack of better terminology."  
"The confidences rule?" Aaron said with a little smile that Hannah noticed, but ignored.

"You want the conversation to remain confidential, just say so. Invoke the rule. Sound okay? Both of you can say whatever you want to me, you can rant and rave about the other and I can't repeat any of it." When she saw Aaron's skepticism outlined on his face, she grinned and said, "Plus, you two can even rant and rave about me!"

The skepticism dissolved away and an ear to ear grin replaced it. Hannah tried not to grin too as she blushed and shook her head.

"Now I like this rule." Aaron said, but he still had one reservation, that of Reid telling her about Aaron's unprofessional moments on the job, like when Aaron had kicked him in the ribs in order to get his ankle gun into Reid's hands, even though that worked out.

She'd been furious with him when she saw him next, at the hospital, and Hotch didn't want a repeat. He needed to talk to Reid about adding a clause onto the rule, to protect both of them. But for the time being, he grinned at the idea of ranting about Hannah, though he doubted he and Reid would fall to such juvenile depths. At least not anytime soon.

"Oh shut up." Hannah crumpled up an unused napkin and through it at him, hitting him in the chin before she said, "Okay, tell me about this case."

"Has Reid already told you anything about it?"

"Not much. He said that the team interviewed Sarah Jane and her psycho hubby and she really hates her husband."

"How much does Reid normally share with you about the cases?"

"Not much. I hear more from you than I hear from him. And until a few months ago I heard barely anything from him about the cases, which didn't make sense because he knows you talk to me about them. Thank you for talking to him and getting him to open up to me."

"That was Jason."

"Oh!" Hannah paused to think that over and drink her beer. "I thought it was you, but it makes sense that Jason did it. Jason's mentored him since the Academy."

"I didn't speak to Reid about the subject because I wasn't comfortable revealing to him how much I personally disclose to you about the cases we work."

Hannah set down her beer and watched Aaron eat for about half a minute before she spoke.

"Does he still not realize how much we talk? Or what we talk about?"

"Not unless you told him that too in Vegas." Aaron said without making eye contact.

"No." Hannah picked up her beer and finished it, then grabbed another from the pack. "We discussed several things that weekend, but we didn't talk much about that one. It didn't seem as pressing as the other matters we discussed."

Aaron grabbed another beer too, and changed to subject back to the one he wanted to talk about.

"So what did Reid told you about this last case, besides Sarah Jane's animosity towards her husband?"

"He told me Riley's still alive and has no idea who his real parents are, and that Sarah Jane begged Jason not to tell him, and Jason agreed."

Surprised, Aaron looked at Hannah for the first time in minutes.

"He has been opening up to you, telling you about that. I few months ago he wouldn't have considered it."

"But you would have in a heartbeat." Hannah said and held his eye until Aaron looked away, back down at his burger.

He took a bite as he figured out how to reply to that statement. When he had it, he swallowed and took a drink from the beer.

"I like your perspective on things. Not only does it make you a good friend, but it's what makes you a good teacher too."

"That and the fact that I am awesome!" Hannah grinned. "What other professor plays video games, loves movie marathons, reads the books that they read, and gets all their jokes?"

"True." Aaron nodded and grinned wider than she did. "You are awesome, but you also have the advantage of being the same age as most of them, and more than a few have a crush on their young professor."

"University rules, not to mention my personal rules, say no sexual relationships with students."

"Not all professors follow University rules or listen to their own morals. If they even have morals."

"And not all University students are moral. I've had a few sluts and players pass through my classes. They drop when they realize I'm not going to give them a good grade when they flirt with me or offer up sex for a better grade because they haven't done any of the homework." Hannah said as she tried to keep a straight face, a serious face.

Aaron had a more shocked look upon his face, with a grin threatening to crack it.

"That's happened to you?"

"Oh yeah."

"Girls too?"

"It's disturbing. Don't make me talk about it anymore." Hannah shuddered, much as Spencer did a few days before, and Aaron cracked up. "Damn you Aaron, stop laughing!"

"I'm sorry," Aaron said between laughs when he paused to breath. "I can't help it."

"You're horrible!"

"You brought it up!"

"No, you did!"

"But then you went and gave me details."

Just before she surprised him with another crumpled up napkin, Hannah gave him the dirtiest look she'd ever given him, outside of their fight at the hospital.

"We're getting off this subject now." Hannah said as she stole his beer, her hostage until further notice. "Are you going to tell Haley about Riley?"

"I might." Aaron looked from Hannah to his beer and back to Hannah again. "Can I have that back?"

"Maybe." Hannah flashed a mischievous smile at him before she slid it back across the table. "How did you feel about Sarah Jane's decision?"

"Even though Sarah Jane insisted she die to protect Riley, it still feels like a silver lining in the case. Riley's a good kid, he's nothing like his father, and he has the potential to make a good life. I can understand why Sarah Jane did what she did, to protect him. He should never have to know who his father is. But unfortunately that also means he can never know of his mother's sacrifice." Aaron noticed the more he said, the more Hannah got that far away look in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Hannah, you were staring at your beer but you were looking through your beer. You only do that when something big is bothering you." Aaron reached across the table, covering her hand with his own, startling her into looking up at him. "What is it?"

Hannah flipped her hand under Aaron's and squeezed his fingers. He squeezed back, then took her hand in both of his. After Hannah chewed a cuticle for a few seconds out of nervousness, she stopped and placed her hand on his. She looked at their hands entwined in the middle of the table. Each time she glanced up, her eyes couldn't get past his chest before she looked down at their hands again.

"I'll tell you..." Hannah paused again, the internal battle inside her tipping toward one side before she said, "But I'm invoking the confidence rule."

"Okay." Aaron said and nodded, but that wasn't enough for Hannah.

"I'm serious Aaron." Hannah looked up at him them, into his eyes, as she said, "I haven't even told Spencer or Jenna about this. That's how top secret this secret is."

"Told them what, and why didn't you included Matthew's name?"

"Matthew and I were adopted."

Of all the things he thought Hannah could tell him, that one never crossed his mind. He ran through everything he knew about the Darrow clan and couldn't see it, couldn't see the adoption Hannah and Matthew saw.

"What?"

"Mom and dad aren't our mom and dad." Hannah stressed the our. "We got suspicious in our early teen years. Between the dominate and recessive genes, the differences between our older siblings and the two of us, something wasn't quite right. We waited until we were eighteen before we snagged some of mom and dad's hairs and had testing done. The results were sent to my new apartment with Spencer. I was so nervous Spencer would see that letter and ask what was going on, so I ran back to the apartment every day for a week when the mailman came by. When the letter arrived, it confirmed our suspicions."

"I don't understand. You and Matthew were Elizabeth's last pregnancy."

"That's why Matt and I never said anything to anyone and I waited until I had my own address where I could receive the letter. We always planned on just getting a PO box, but then I met Spencer and we moved in together so fast. When I figured out that he was always in class when our mailman came by, we just had the results sent to my place." Hannah reclaimed her hands and started punctuating the points she found most important. "Mom talked about our pregnancy, her last pregnancy, a lot when we were growing up. She talked about all of her pregnancies as a way of discouraging her children from having teenage pregnancies. It worked. No one got pregnant until they wanted to. But the fact that mom talked about how much Matt and I kicked, and her cravings, it was all a lie because she wasn't pregnant with us."

"Wait a second Hannah." Aaron put his palms out to stop her as he said, "It could have been a surrogate pregnancy for all you know."

"It was not a surrogate pregnancy! Matt and I discussed that. Our sister Samantha is only a year and a half older than us, meaning she was just nine months when Matt and I were conceived. Mom would not have taken on a surrogate pregnancy nine months after giving birth and after her sixth kid. Plus, she was overweight from Sam and Megan's pregnancies and not in good health. She told the family she needed to live away from them, and from her work, so she could have a peaceful final pregnancy, so for the next year she did just that, only, she wasn't pregnant! Can you see now why Matthew and I could never bring this up with mom and dad? The whole affair is bizarre." When she finished, Hannah expected some kind of reply from Aaron but didn't get anything. "Will you say something Aaron? I just spilled the biggest secret of my life to you!"

"Why would they go to such great lengths?" Aaron said and folded his hands under his chin.

"Good question. It's been discussed, but Matt and I have no idea. We don't have enough details to determine why our parents lied to the whole family." Hannah picked up her beer and emptied it before she said, "We're not even sure anymore if our birthday is our birthday."

"You're birthday isn't you're birthday?" Aaron paused as he opened her a third beer. "What does that mean?"

"October 31st. Halloween. No one was present at our birth except dad and there were no pictures of our birth. Mom finally brought us home to meet our siblings when we were two months old. Matthew and I could have been born a week earlier. Then we would have been conceived on Valentine's Day, which was when mom was in the hospital with heart trouble and the doctor told her no more babies for a few years at least and drop the weight. Don was eavesdropping outside their bedroom when dad brought mom home from the hospital that night and they were discussing the doctor's orders. Don always was nosy." Hannah grinned a little at the memories she had of her oldest brother, an jerk, but an invaluable jerk.

She missed Aaron's reaction when she mentioned Valentine's Day. He froze for a moment, then busied himself with his beer, unfinished burger, and messing up a few paper napkins until she finished.

"Valentine's Day?" Aaron said in the calmest voice he had, one he used to make suspects uncomfortable in interrogation, but in her distress Hannah missed the tone that would, under normal circumstances, tick her off.

"Not a very surprising day to be conceived, considering it's connotations."

"True."

Aaron nodded in agreement, but in his mind he considered some other connotations of the famous holiday, infamous connotations that Hannah might not be aware of because they happened before her birth. Ended the year of her birth more like. Everyone who passed through the FBI Academy starting in the mid-eighties learned about the Valentine's Day Killer, a rapist and murderer active from '68 to '81. Thirteen female victims, no survivors, but the last victim held out for two days in the ICU.

But it could only be a coincidence. It had to be a coincidence. He needed to see the final victim's picture before he could be sure. Hannah's voice brought him out of his reverie.

"Sometimes I wonder what the hell was my mother was really doing during that year and who my real parents are."

"Those are good questions." Aaron said as he drank his beer, because he had no idea what else he could or should say.

"But I don't want to know, which is why, in a way, I can understand why Sarah Jane doesn't ever want Riley to know who his real parents are. Considering all the strangeness associated with our adoption, Matthew and I decided years ago that we don't want to know who we came from." Hannah picked up her burger, took a huge bite and pausing as she chewed and covering her lower face with her hand, she said, "I just really felt I needed to get that off of my chest. Nothing like this has ever come up before. Nothing has ever reminded me so much of what Matt and I feel."

Everything else she said fell into background noise against her first statement.

"You don't want to know?"

"We don't want to know." Again Hannah said, "Don't tell Spencer. Confidences Rule."


	15. Unfinished Business

Chapter 15

**Unfinished Business**

Hours after Haley and Jack returned home and Hannah left, Aaron tossed around in bed. The secret and the terrible truth he suspected behind it kept him awake. He didn't realize how much he disturbed Haley until she spoke up behind him.

"Aaron, it's one in the morning. Go to sleep."

"I'm sorry," Aaron threw off his covers as he said, "I'll move to the couch."

As he walked out of the room, Haley propped up on one elbow and watched him.

Two minutes later, Aaron sat on the couch thumbing through one of Haley's magazines but not seeing the content. He didn't see anything except what he could remember of the case file in his head. What little he recalled of the last victim's features swam in front of his eyes, preventing him from seeing Haley cross the living room, go into the kitchen, then emerge ten seconds later with the last beer in her hand, uncapped and ready for drinking.

"Here, drink this." Haley shoved the beer in her husband's face and rolled her eyes when his hand moved for his holster on automatic. "Your gun is locked in the safe upstairs. Just take the beer and drink it."

Aaron stared at the beer like he'd never seen one before, and at his wife like he hadn't seen her in a very long time. Haley gave up on waiting for him to take it from her, grabbed his hand, pushed the beer against his palm, then closed his fingers around it. He brought it up to his lips all on his own and swallowed a long drink.

"Thank you." Aaron said and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

"You're out of it tonight." Haley said as she sat down next to him on the couch, her legs curled up against her body. "Did you even see me walk across the living room?"

"No."

"I thought so. What has you so distracted?"

A list ran through Aaron's head, with the confidences rule applied to all either by Hannah's invocation or his own desire not to address it. He didn't want to give his wife the idea that he excluded her from this part of his life, but knew no good way around it other than a simple phrase.

"I don't know how to talk about it. I'm sorry."

"You're in love with Hannah."

Aaron turned his head to stare at Haley so fast he felt a crick in his neck that would haunt him if he didn't remember to do something about it soon, so he put his free hand on the muscle and rubbed. The distraction felt good but didn't change what his wife just said.

"What?"

He couldn't think of anything else to say.

"I know that you and Hannah are in love and that it's not something either one of you had any control over. Am I right in that assumption?" When Aaron didn't speak, Haley said, "I need an answer Aaron."

"No. We had no control. Are you angry?"

"I'm not angry. I'm comfortable."

"Comfortable? I don't understand."

"I know her relationship rules. I know she won't break them. They're so set in stone for her, she can't even fathom breaking them. Hannah is respectful of the institution of marriage, even though she doesn't want to join it."

"You know about her relationship rules?"

"She's very open about it once she gets to know you. I'll admit, I became friends with her because I saw how you two were acting at that first barbeque she and Spencer came to, and that night Spencer told me about the rules of their relationship and her rules about other relationships. I wanted to know more, and I wanted to see if she was a real threat to our marriage."

"Haley!"

"Don't interrupt me. I was about to say that I instantly came to like her and also decided she's not a threat after our first bar hopping excursion."

"Why didn't you say anything before? It's been over two years!"

"Because all I saw was disguised flirting, I assume to protect Spencer and I and not draw attention from the team?"

"Yes, but it wasn't so much disguised as it just happened that way."

"I also saw Hannah being a good friend to you, and you to her, and Hannah listening to things that I would rather remain happily ignorant about. She's always been more than willing to listen to what troubles you when you come off a case, and then I get my husband back and not an agent or a team leader. I'm not sure if you noticed the change in your behavior after you and Hannah became friends, but I did, and I'm grateful to her for being able to take that load off your shoulders."

"I knew you were perceptive Haley, but this is surprising. You would make a good profiler."

"Except I don't have the stomach for it, and my perception comes from all the years I've know you. In that way you've rubbed off on me. Hannah would make a much better profiler than I would, coming from the Darrow family and living with Spencer since they were seventeen."

"We joked about that once. She would make a great profiler, but Hannah said she would want to shoot all the unsubs upon capture, like Judge Dredd."

"I can see that. She's clear about what she believes in." Haley cleared her throat before she continued. "She doesn't believe in cheating. She understands it's wrong."

"Haley, I've never cheated on you!"

"I know you haven't, but I also know that you and Hannah went through some trouble for a few months and you seem to have gotten past it just a few weeks ago. I didn't bring it up then because I didn't have the nerve, but now I want to know what happened, and not just in those few months after Jack was born. I want to know everything."

"Haley-"

"I'm not asking, Aaron, I'm ordering. And I am granting you immunity."

"Immunity?"

"But you have to tell me everything. Deal?"

"Sounds fair."

"It's incredibly fair. Now start at the beginning. I want to know what really happened when you met Hannah at that gun range."

"I was honest with you about everything that happened that day, save for one thing."

"What happened?"

"Hannah and I spoke for about half an hour before anything happened. We finished talking and I opened her car door for her. As she started to climb in, she was so close to me...Hannah describes our encounter as an overeager Cupid passing by and thinking we would make a cute couple." Aaron embellished but didn't let her know, instead saying, "I agree with that statement."

"What exactly happened at the car door?"

"We almost kissed. She got her wits back first, before we could, and reminded me of her rule about married men. Hannah had already covered the rules of her relationship with Reid, and entering into other relationships. Then she gave me her card and left. We never addressed what happened in that parking lot. That was our mistake. It's why we were having trouble."

"What started the trouble?"

"Same gun range parking lot, but a different car door."

When Aaron didn't offer up more information than that, Haley poked him in the shoulder.

"Don't be vague, give me details. And let me have a sip of that beer." Haley drank more than a sip, but Aaron didn't say anything. "This was the last one in the fridge, so slow down and savor it. Now what happened at that gun range?"

"Hannah had a bad day at school, so to blow off some steam, she went to the gun range. Because she didn't have her gun with her, the owner loaned her one of his. A Glock 17, like mine. I'd been trying for years to talk Hannah into trying my gun, but she liked her revolver. When she texted to let me know she was doing it, I joined her at the range. I could tell something was bothering her because she perforated the target's abdominal area. So when we got outside, I asked her what was wrong and she started venting about her administrator, an unnecessary panic going through her department, and her classes acting like they were stoned. Since she can't smoke legally, I offered to buy her a decadent brownie instead to cheer her up, and we agreed to take my car."

"And the same thing happened at the car door?"

"No, this time we moved toward each other like it was the most natural thing in the world and we did it all the time, and we almost kissed. We would have kissed, but another car pulled into the parking lot and we pulled away from each other, like we'd almost been caught red-handed."

"Red-handed? From the way you're talking about this, you sound like you're confessing."

"I am confessing. I shouldn't have kept this from you, but I didn't know how to address it. Hannah experienced the same problem with how to address it with Reid."

"I bet you he knows, and that he's always known."

"He does. Reid confronted Hannah during their last trip to Vegas."

"Confronted? He was upset?"

"I'm using the adjective confronted. Hannah said they just talked. Reid and I haven't discussed it between us. That would just be too awkward."

"You know Hannah better than I do. Would it be awkward for her if I talked to her about this?"

"Of the two of us, she was the one more willing to find out if you knew. She planned on getting you very drunk during the beach trip so that you would be less likely to remember the conversation."

"When's the beach trip?"

"Spring break."

"So March. Okay."

"Haley, you're taking this much better than I thought you would."

"I have faith in my husband, and also my friend and her morals, and I feel very secure in my marriage. Now tell me the rest. Tell me everything. You left off with a car pulled into the parking lot and you and Hannah pulled apart like you'd been caught red-handed." Haley flashed a quick smile like she had just been caught red-handed and said, "Sorry. Almost red-handed. What happened next?"

After another swig of beer, it was running out fast, Aaron told Haley about Hannah keeping her head better than he had. How Hannah brought up Reid's shooting exam, and her wording put her boyfriend first. They found that brownie, acted like nothing happened, talked like best friends, and when they finished their desserts, Aaron returned Hannah to her car at the gun range. She hopped out and waved goodbye. Without pausing, Aaron jumped into their next encounter, at the hospital, and how Hannah hit him in the arm because she was upset with his treatment of Reid on their last case, but was using that as an excuse because she was really mad about what happened at the gun range.

"Aaron, slow down, you're loosing me! What happened with you and Reid?"

This time Aaron did not drink any beer before he explained, with great intricacy and downplaying how bad the situation was, how he and Reid were held hostage in the hospital with several others by the shooter, and by what means he got his ankle gun to Reid. Haley knew about the hostage situation, but he didn't want to freak her out again.

"I can understand why Hannah was mad at you. I can also understand that you had very few options and that was your best shot. But Reid is her boyfriend, she feels protective of him, you hurt him, and she was already upset about what happened at the gun range."

"Thank you for understanding."

"When did you two finally talk about what happened between you?"

"Immediately after she punched me in the arm."

"You talked about it there at the hospital? Before she came in to see me?"

"We had a pretty big fight about it, that moved into the stairwell when we started getting louder. And we resolved nothing. It seemed at the time like we had resolved the issue, but it refused to stay dead. We had more trouble after that fight than we had before because we finally talked about it, but didn't resolve anything."

"When was the next time you two had another run in?"

"Run in?" Aaron tried not to laugh at that. "Well, that's one way to look at it, though I look at them more like encounters. We had another encounter the night we wrapped the Arnold case. I stopped at her office. I needed to talk about what happened on that case, and though we were having trouble with our relationship, I knew I could still count on her to be there for me and listen. After I told her what troubled me about the case, I told her that we couldn't keep going like we had the last few weeks. We had to get our friendship back of track, and get past the rest of it. I also told her I choose you. She wasn't surprised to hear me say that. She wouldn't except anything else from me, and neither would I. It was more a formality than anything else. I felt that by saying it, I was putting that part of my relationship with Hannah to rest. But unfortunately, that didn't work out as I had planned."

"I could have told you that. You basically tried to take the easy way out. It doesn't work."

"Thank you Captain Obvious." Aaron rolled his eyes at his wife and received a swat on the arm for it.

"You're welcome. So when did that easy way out nip you in the butt?"

"Remember when I came home with a bruised neck?"

"From when the mafia hitman tried to garrote you? How could I ever forget about that?"

"I went to Hannah's office before I came home."

"I figured you did, but I sensed you didn't want me to ask, so I didn't. But now I must ask, what happened in Hannah office?"

"Sexual tension." Aaron swallowed and started explaining the strange sequence of events that happened up through Reid showing up to ask his girlfriend out on a date. "It was clear then that we hadn't resolved anything, but I was too stubborn to see it."

"Hard headed. It works for you when you're on a case, but hurts you when you're not working."

"Agreed. I should work on that."

"So that was your third encounter with Hannah? Or was that the fourth? Fifth?"

"Fifth if I include the fight at the hospital."

"Include it. So what was the sixth?"

"She had a fight with Reid, about his actions during the case in Texas, when Elle was a hostage on the train. He upset her and she refused to go home with him. Hannah went to the bar and texted me, asking me to join her. I was almost asleep and didn't respond, but I knew where I would be able to find her the next morning."

"Over at Jenna's?"

"Yep. I stopped there before work and Jenna told Hannah and I that we could speak privately with one another in the study. We argued again, but at least this time we discussed the issue we'd been avoiding. But it didn't get resolved, and we didn't make much progress either. I left for work, she left for school, and we didn't have another encounter for nearly two weeks, until the team returned from vacation. Hannah joined Reid in Vegas after she finished her classes, and that's when Reid confronted her. He wasn't as upset as I thought he would be, but he told Hannah he'd been keeping his nightmares from her because he couldn't trust her not to tell me. That surprised us, but Reid and Hannah made up. But Hannah and I, we were still having trouble."

"Have you and Reid talked about this?"

"No! Neither one of us wants to talk about this."

"So you're putting everything on Hannah's shoulders?"

"No, she's acting as intermediary of her own accord."

"She can't do that forever you know."

"And she won't have to. Hannah and I have resolved things."

"Seventh encounter?"

"No. Our seventh encounter included Hannah telling me that Reid's been aware of our relationship from the beginning, and me being an idiot by derailing what little progress we had made at that point by kissing her."

At that moment, Aaron realized he'd neglected, not on purpose, to tell Haley about the first kiss. At the same moment, Haley's eyes widened as she turned on the sofa to give her husband her full attention.

"Aaron, you kissed Hannah? On the lips?"

"That was actually our second kiss."

"You skipped a part! I gave you immunity."

Afraid she might take the immunity away, or end the conversation right there, Aaron held up his palms to appease her and talked fast.

"I didn't mean to skip it. I just now realized I hadn't told you about it, but if you'll allow me to go back and explain-"

"When was this first kiss?"

"After I told her I choose you. I kissed her because I thought it would be our only kiss ever."

Haley looked less than happy to hear that.

"But it wasn't your only kiss."

"That's the same point Hannah brought up before she kicked me out of her office. I have never seen her that angry, even when we fought at the hospital."

"She was mad because she felt that you were playing with her emotions."

"And I was, but not on purpose."

"Of course you didn't do it on purpose, but you still did it. If I was in her position, I would be mad too. How long before she talked to you again?"

"I stormed her office a few days later."

"Storm. Very strong adjective."

"Why are you analyzing my adjectives? Only Hannah ever does that to me. And yes, I stormed her office."

"Why?"

"We hadn't resolved anything, and when I kissed her again I just made things worse. I was getting distracted by our situation, so after we returned from our next case in New Jersey, I went to talk to her." Aaron stopped for a few seconds and rubbed his chin, something he never did and told Haley just how nervous he felt. "I still have full immunity?"

With concentrated effort Haley managed not to crease her brow in skepticism. Instead she nodded and gave him what he needed.

"Yes Aaron, you have full immunity. Now what happened?"

"The situation quickly spun out of control."

"How?"

"Finish the beer." Aaron passed it over before he explained his good intentions in going over to Hannah's office, her insistence they get out in public before they talked to avoid another kiss in the privacy of her office, how he lost control first and then she did, leading them to make-out, and Hannah stopped them before they went too far, then how they confronted the problem and resolved it before Aaron left. "Haley, if you're not going to finish that beer, I will."

"My beer." Haley said before she finished the last quarter inch in one gulp.

"That was our last encounter. Hannah and I are fine now."

"Aaron, you made out with Hannah."

"Yes, but it lead us to directly address our issue."

"And what was the verdict? She a really good kisser?"

"Haley, don't do that. Don't be jealous. You wanted to know. You think this was comfortable, telling you everything? It wasn't. But you gave me immunity, so I took it. I'm sorry for what I've down, but don't do this."

"I remember smelling her on you, Aaron. When you came home after Jersey. When you took a shower I looked at your clothes and your shirt smelled like her, but not your pants. It was a light scent."

"Haley, I only kissed Hannah twice and made-out with her once and I felt guilty for all of it. Okay, not the first kiss, the intentional kiss, but I feel bad for the rest of it. And why didn't you bring this up earlier? You said you were comfortable that Hannah and I wouldn't cheat, when in fact you were suspicious that we had."

"No, I knew that something had happened between you, but I didn't think you two had sex. Aaron, if I thought you two had slept together, I would have said so, and I wouldn't have bought you this beer so you and Hannah could cook burgers in the back yard. I wanted to talk to you about this ever since you came home with her scent all over you, but I was too nervous. And then you two were back to normal and it didn't feel like the right time to say anything."

"And tonight did?"

"Hannah looked worried when she left. She glanced at you and for a second she looked worried and then she looked normal again. And you have clearly been distressed since she left. You were tossing and turning and I could hear the gears in your head screaming. So I made up my mind to ask you what's been going on. You say you and Hannah are fine, but I think something happened tonight that you're keeping from me."

"It wasn't sexual tension. We're past that. We didn't have an encounter. We ate dinner and talked. Hannah told me a secret, something she hasn't told Reid or Jenna. She and Matt haven't told anyone and agreed not to, but she told me."

"So knowing her secret is what's distressing you? What is it? What did she tell you?"

"I can't tell you Haley. I'm sorry. It's private. She invoked the confidences rule."

"She invoked the what rule?"

Aaron explained the confidences rule exactly as Hannah had, and as he finished, Haley started giggling.

"I know it sounds a bit odd."

"No, no, it's not that!" Haley collected herself before she said, "It's just that there is this massive loophole and-"

She started laughing again, and had to cover her mouth with both hands so she wouldn't wake up Jack.

"What are you talking about? There isn't a loophole."

"How do you not see it? Has it really been that long since you've practiced law?"

"Haley, what loophole?"

"You're not allowed to tell the third person the secret that the first person told you, but there's nothing saying you can't tell an outside fourth person the secret. The only people who have to obey this confidences rule are you, Reid, and Hannah."

"That is a huge loophole."

"What did she tell you tonight that made her worried and you so distressed?"

"Haley, I really can't. It's hers' and Matt's secret. It has nothing to do with Hannah and me. I can ask her to tell you about it, that's a provision of this confidences rule, but that's all I can do."

"I understand. I shouldn't have asked."

"It's human nature to ask. Do you still want them over for dinner?"

"Let me talk to Hannah first."

"Do it over drinks, then it won't be so awkward."

"I can't drink until I finish breastfeeding. You want me to wait until the spring break beach trip before I talk to her about this?"

"That would be preferable."

"And here I was about to invite you to come back to bed."

"Thanks, but I can't sleep anyway."

"Fine. You know where the blankets and pillows are if you want to sleep here, or the spare bedroom is available."

"I think I'll sleep here on the couch."

"All right." Haley stood up, kissed him on the forehead, but then paused and sat back down.

"Haley, what is it?"

"You gave me a lot of details about what happened between you and Hannah, but you glossed over what happened in the stairwell at the hospital, in Jenna's study, and just how exactly you two worked things out after making-out. I want those details Aaron, or no immunity."

Aaron turned on the sofa to face Haley, folded his legs under him Indian-style, then told her everything, starting with the hospital stairwell, then Jenna's study, and finally ending with Hannah's office. Afterwards, Haley went a full three minutes in silence before she asked a question.

"So Hannah's presence both calms you and excites you?"

For five seconds Aaron thought about that before he answered.

"Yes."

Of course he saw the problem with that, he always had, and now Haley saw it too.

"And just sitting with her is the answer?"

"No, the answer is self-control, Haley. Hannah and I have that."

"You have that now."

"Yes, we do. Nothing's going to happen between us again."

"We all hope." Haley said before she abandoned her husband to sleep on the couch. "See you in the morning."

"Hal-"

"Goodnight Aaron."

Once he heard the bedroom door close behind his angry wife, Aaron glanced in that direction and muttered.

"Damn it."

* * *

For two hours on Saturday afternoon Spencer ran errands at various bookstores and groceries before he returned home. When he walked into the kitchen to tell Hannah he wanted to make them dinner, he instead found her arguing with Matthew. It took him a few seconds to process his sort of brother-in-law standing in their kitchen, fuming at some argument, his neck red and his light freckles darker than usual. Last time Spencer heard from Matthew, a week ago, Matt was down in Miami with Ally and Lily. He always called when he thought he might pass through DC and stop for a visit, but this time he hadn't. Judging from the anger obvious on his face and the odd mixture of guilt and righteousness on Hannah's, they'd just had a nuclear fight. Spencer wondered why he hadn't heard them as he came inside the townhouse, until Matthew spoke. He sounded hoarse, but from illness or shouting, Spencer didn't know for sure.

"Hey Spencer. You look good. I'd stay and chat with you, but I have to get up to Manhattan for a studio session. Besides," Matthew glanced across the kitchen at his twin, who shot him a dirty look right back when he said, "Hannah already made up her mind about what she thinks is best for the both of us."

"That's not fair Matt!" Hannah said as she glared at her twin.

"Don't lecture me about fair, Hannah." Matt turned and walked out of the kitchen, but turned back to deliver another barb. "You broke your promise."

"I told you why I had to to it!"

"Yeah, and that must have been really painful for you."

"Get out!" Hannah pointed toward the front door, where Matt already headed.

"Just remember that you had a choice in this, and you choose wrong." Matt said as he paused in front of the door.

"You already made your position on this clear, so just shut up and go!"

"Bye Spencer." Matthew waved to him as he opened the door and vanished onto the street.

"Bye Matthew." Spencer waved at Matthew's back as he disappeared out the door, then turned to Hannah, the confusion apparent on his face. "Hannah, what's going on? When did Matt get here and what are you fighting about?"

"Sit down and I'll tell you everything. I need some chamomile tea."

For Hannah, chamomile tea helped calm her down in a similar way to the pot brownies she used to eat with Matthew, the shared joints, or decimating a paper target with her grandfather's revolver. Spencer preferred the tea treatment. He followed her into the kitchen and noticed her shaking hands.

"Sit down. I'll make the tea."

Hannah sat, but her hands didn't calm down. She grabbed a pen and a pad of paper she'd left there earlier and then started talking as Spencer put the teapot on to boil.

"This is under the confidences rule. I invoked it when I told Aaron. You can let him know that I told you, but only Aaron. You two cannot discuss this with anyone else. Matthew certainly doesn't want to hear anything about it from either one of you." Hannah finished writing or drawing something on the pad, Spencer couldn't tell which, and looked up at him. "Got it?"

"I understand." Spencer slid into a chair across from her. "What's the secret?"

"Matthew and I were adopted. Elizabeth and Alexander are not our biological parents. We're not genetically related to anyone in the family."

"I know."

"You know? You knew?" Hannah continued, forgetting in her distress to stop and let Spencer answer the question. "How long? When? Matt and I didn't know until we were thirteen when Don spit it out during an argument while everyone else was in Manhattan."

"Don told you?"

"Spencer, when did you figure it out? Did you say anything to anyone?"

"No, I never told anyone."

"When did you figure it out?"

"After meeting everyone in your family, that Christmas trip after we moved in together, I could see that you and Matt were adopted, but your mom talked about you two like you weren't, and you and Matt kept sharing looks, so I decided not to say anything."

"Thank you for not saying anything. I'll tell you the same thing I told Aaron. Matthew and I don't want to know why our parents lied to us or who are real parents are. Now I need to tell you everything that happened."

Hannah proceeded through everything she and Matthew found out, how they learned it, Don's responsibility for the secret coming out to the twins, and that no one else in the family knew the twins or Don knew the truth. "Matthew and I never discuss this with Don. It was an argument one night when we were thirteen and it was just the three of us. It never came up again. We act like it never happened."

"That's why Matthew's upset?"

"We agreed never to tell anyone and I broke that promise. He has every right to be upset with me. He's never even told Ally."

"Why did you tell Hotch?"

"Because he told me about Sarah Jane and Riley."

"He told you about them? The team agreed we weren't going to tell anyone."

"He confided it in me. He's done that for years."

"He shouldn't do that."

"You're right. He should just keep all that emotion bottled up inside him and keep me in the dark like you do when the team investigates a rape case." At that perfect moment the teapot started screaming, so Hannah got up to take it off the burner before she turned back to Spencer. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You have opened up to me and I'm grateful for that. I just wish it had happened a lot sooner."

"Then you should have told me that Hotch was already telling you everything."

"He doesn't talk to me about you, at least not the way you think he does. That's not the way this works. Aaron talks to me about what's bothering him and that way he doesn't have to keep it inside or take it home to Haley. What did you think our relationship was?"

"Kissing in the privacy of your office." Spencer blinked, shocked by his own audacity, then swallowed and apologized. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

But Hannah turned her back on him as soon as he brought up the office kiss and busied herself with the tea. When he apologized, she took a dee breathe, but blew anyway.

"God damn it Spencer, when you're upset just tell me. Don't keep it bottled up. I know I messed up with Aaron. He knows he messed up with me. You want to know anything, just ask me!"

The kitchen fell into silence for a few seconds, then Spencer took Hannah up on her offer.

"Did anything else happen between you two after we came home from Vegas?"

Instead of spilling her tea on the counter and floor as she walked, Hannah held steady for the first time since Spencer arrived home and sat down across from him. She'd somehow found her poise, and didn't shake even once in either fear or anger. After a slow sip of the hot tea, she met Spencer's eyes and nodded.

"Yes, and I'll tell you, but I'm invoking the confidences rule for that too."

"Hannah!"

Her finger left the tea mug and hung in the air between them as she pointed.

"Neither one of you wants to talk about this anyway, which makes the confidences rule a mere formality."

"What happened after we talked about this in Vegas?"

"Aaron kissed me again in my office. I was so angry that he had done so that I kicked him out. I told you we weren't going to kiss again and then he went and kissed me again and I lost my temper."

"Was that the only thing that happened?"

"No. After the fight about Texas-"

"But that was before we went to Vegas."

"It's relevant. I slept at Jenna's that night and I was just as mad at Aaron as I was at you because he ignored my text message to come join me at the bar for a drink. He showed up the next morning to talk-"

"You already told me about that fight when we were in Vegas."

"I left out the part of the fight that was about our sexual tension. It was after the first kiss, which just made everything worse. He kissed me again after that child abduction case in Delaware, and after Vegas, and then the next time we talked, which wasn't until after the New Jersey poisoning, Aaron and I almost crossed the line in my school office."

"How?"

"It was a stupid mistake but we both stopped before we went too far. And you are not to bring this up with him. I invoked confidences and you'd probably make him die of shock if you mentioned it to him."

"Hannah, what happened in your office?"

"Aaron wanted to talk, and so did I, but I wanted to get out in public with him where he wouldn't kiss me again, and as I was yelling at him about kissing me twice in the privacy of my office, he went and kissed me again, but this time I didn't keep my wits about me. I couldn't. We started making out, locked the door, and ended up on the sofa before we regained our wits and stopped. Oddly enough, we haven't had any unbearable sexual tension since then. I think that incident broke the bubble. We had burgers in his backyard two nights ago and we were best friends again." Hannah blew on her tea and said, "Spencer, will you please say something?"

"Why didn't you tell me about this before now?"

"Because I felt like an ass for doing those things and thought if I kept quiet the guilt would go away, but I was wrong. I'm sorry Spencer. I never should have betrayed you and Haley or stayed silent about what happened."

"How does Hotch feel?"

"Like an even bigger ass. Don't be mad at him. I'll take it all from you, your anger, just don't take it out on him."

"I wouldn't take my anger out on him. We have a professional working relationship."

"Good. Keep it professional."

"How are you and Hotch going to conduct your relationship?"

"Respectfully. For each other, our friendship, and our significant others."

* * *

"What do you think of Ryan?" Reid said as he headed up to the second floor with Hotch.

"He hasn't changed much." Hotch said with a slight grin.

"I think we can learn a lot from him."

"What could you possibly learn that you don't already know?"

The adoption popped into Hotch's mind at that exact moment, and a second later Reid surprised him as he hadn't done in a while.

"Hannah finally told me about the adoption."

The word choice struck Hotch as odd, until he realized the implication.

"Finally? Reid, what do you mean finally? Did you know?"

"Hotch, I've known about the adoption since the Academy, but I lied to Hannah and told her I've known since our first Christmas, which is still technically the truth."

"Let's wait and discuss this once we're back in D.C."

Reid nodded and then slipped into mini lecture mode as he turned away to study the right side of the room, while Hotch took the left.

"Hotch, repetitive thinking is a death nail for the brain. For complete brain usage, diverse stimulation is the key." As Hotch studied the other side of the room and hid his smile over Reid's intellect, Spencer's voice lowered before he spoke louder, and firmer. "Look at this."

Hotch looked around in time to see Reid pick a sheet of paper up from a table. In his hands he held another Keystone letter.

* * *

"It only takes eleven pounds of pressure to fully incapacitate your victim, and if you hang on for at least fifty seconds, they'll never recover." Reid said as he tried not to stare at Hotch while he spoke.

Hotch picked up the thread, and that more than what he said surprised Reid. Not that what he said didn't shock Reid.

"When you suffocate someone, you actually have less control over their death. It's actually more passive because the killer doesn't feel the life leaving the body."

Hotch spoke from personal experience. He and Perotta both felt his life starting to leave his body, and if it hadn't been for that taser, Hotch would be dead. Reid saw the bruises on Hotch's neck when they bumped into each other at Hannah's office. He'd bet that besides him and Hannah, only Haley saw the physical damage left by Perotta's garotte. Hotch was notoriously private when it came to the team, and Hannah kept his secrets from everyone, including Haley and Reid. It was only by chance that Reid even saw him in that raw state. He'd never said anything about it after. Reid decided to keep an eye on him for the rest of the case, to see if he had any flashbacks.

* * *

"You know he has no one. No family."

"Who's that?"

"Ryan. Technically he's retired, but he hasn't seen his kids in years."

"Divorce is not uncommon in the BAU." Hotch said, and hoped he never joined that statistic, even if it did mean he could then see Hannah romantically.

Assuming Hannah would allow him to see her romantically. Haley and Jack meant the world to him, and he suspected Hannah wouldn't react to a divorce by inviting him into bed. She held the Hotchner marriage up on a pedestal and tended to take Haley's side on things Hotch wished she wouldn't. Hannah also stuck by her rules like they were commandments, and divorce to enter into a relationship with her violated a couple of them.

"You know the other night when you called, Saturday night, don't you think it was weird that we all were just able to drop everything, go to the office. We're all available to you, anytime you call, day or night."

"No, not really."

"How do you do it? How do you do this job and still have a wife and a baby?"

"Well, when I'm with them, I try to focus a hundred percent of my attention there, and when I'm with you guys I try to do the same thing. It's about priorities Elle, it's about setting them and keeping them."

"And what about Hannah, what about friendships?"

Elle's sentence phrasing, with Hannah first and friendships second, piqued Hotch's curiosity. He knew Elle understood phrasing. Hotch heard her use it before. She formed the sentence like that on purpose and Hotch knew it. He made a mental note to speak with Gideon about Elle's attitude. She always toed the line, and right now, Hotch did not like it. Careful not to show his surprise at hearing her question, he considered how to phrase, and how to answer, such a potentially hazardous question. He decided the truth would be best, but not the full truth.

"Friendships are important to maintain too, in part because friends are sometimes more willing to put up with things that significant others are not. Haley doesn't like to hear about my work, which makes it difficult when I have something from the case I need to get off my chest. Hannah will listen to that. Have a friend you can trust that much, Elle. It helps."

"I'm just so scared I'm going to turn into that guy over there. Look up and see that my life has passed me by while I was chasing monsters."

"It's hard. This job will eat you up if you let it."

"So what do I do?"

"Find a way not to let it."

* * *

Hotch kept an eye on Reid as their team members trickled out of the office. Reid sat at his desk, on his cell phone with Hannah. With his door open, Hotch caught her name. After Gideon left, the last one out, Reid finished up his phone call and glanced up at Hotch's office. Hotch caught Reid's eye and waved for him to join him.

Though the offices were empty, Hotch closed his door and drew the blinds after Reid entered, just in case. Reid sat on the couch and waited, his eyes drawn to a picture on Hotch's desk taken at his first team barbeque over two years ago. They all stood bunched together, some crouching and grinning maniacally like Morgan and Garcia, JJ and Gideon laughing at a shared joke next to them, Hotch with his arm around Haley's shoulders, she with her arm around his waist, Reid and Hannah hugging and making faces of mock horror. For the first time Reid noticed, really noticed, how Hannah's back rested against Hotch's chest, and his hand perched on her shoulder, holding her steady. They'd tried so hard to hide their feelings and protect their loved ones, even at the cost of their own sanity for stretches of time. Hotch hid his thoughts well beneath that mask of stoicism, but Reid could always tell when Hannah or Haley had him distracted. As for Hannah, she radiated her troubles, whether they happened with a guy, and friend, a family member, or Spencer. Reid realized early in the relationship that he could feel her aura, and even mentioned it to her. She responded in kind by telling him she could read him either like a classic and dense novel, complex and tricky but not impossible, or a picture book. They still teased each other about it on occasion.

Studying the picture, thinking of how he could read both Hannah and Hotch, calculating down to the moment when he realized there was an attraction between them, and how he stayed silent for years because he knew they wouldn't act upon it, because of their morals and nothing else, Reid wanted to chastise them both for how they handled their problems, but couldn't. Hotch finished drawing the blinds and turned to him, his voice and his question drawing Reid out of his reverie.

"Reid, you've known about Hannah's adoption and her biological parents since the Academy?"

"We studied the VDK case at the Academy. I saw the last victim's photo and saw more similarities between her and the twins than between the twins and Elizabeth and Alexander. I also knew about Elizabeth's health problems and her being away from home for the duration of the last pregnancy. I'd also observed some odd behavior between Liz and Alex concerning the twins and I could tell Hannah and Matthew were keeping something from the rest of the family, and from me and Allison." Reid paused a moment as he thought of something, then he said, "When did you figure out who her real parents are? Was it back at that house in Pittsburgh when I mentioned the Academy?"

"No. I figured it out when Hannah mentioned Elizabeth being in the hospital on Valentine's Day. That and the secrecy surrounding the pregnancy made me think Liz and Alex adopted Victoria Jordan's twins to protect them and her."

"Did you look at the photo of Victoria Jordan after Hannah told you?"

"Yes, later that night when I couldn't sleep, I accessed the file from my home office. I saw the same similarities you did. Certain facial features. After I put a picture of Matt and Hannah next to hers, I knew they were Victoria Jordan's kids."

"Hannah told me she and Matt don't want to know who their biological parents are."

"I heard the same thing. Do you think they already figured it out?"

"They're too curious not to have figured it out a long time ago, but how would you react if you were in their shoes?"

"I'd probably deny it and bury it. Never speak of it."

"From Matthew's reaction on Saturday, that's what he did."

"You spoke to Matthew about this on Saturday?"

"He was in my kitchen arguing with Hannah when I got home from running a few errands. He was upset with her for telling you about the adoption. They'd agreed not to tell anyone."

"The less people who know, the easier it is to keep the secret."

"Alexander and Elizabeth know. And Don is the one who told them they were adopted, when they were fighting. He gave them enough to convince them he was right. I wouldn't be that surprised if Don knew."

"Don told them they were adopted?"

"Hannah didn't tell you that?"

"She left that part out, but it doesn't surprise me in the least that Don was the one who slipped and told them."

"Slipped?"

"Good point. Don's an ass. When did he tell them?"

"When they were thirteen."

"And you think he knows about VDK? You know him better than I do."

"That's hard to determine. Don has always had an antagonistic relationship with the twins, but he cares about them. He's protective of them. If he knows about their biological father, he hasn't done anything to signify that he knows."

"Unless it's his protectiveness that is the sign he knows."

"That's also a possibility."

"The lead agent on the VDK case would know about the twins. David Rossi? He helped us with the Raider case. Come to think of it, I think he's been keeping an eye on the twins from afar. When I asked him to consult in LA, he asked about Hannah. He said he knows her parents and heard from them that we were friends and that she was with you."

"Why didn't you tell me about that before?"

"I didn't think much of it at the time because I didn't know about VDK, and it didn't seem surprising to me that Rossi and the Darrow's knew each other. Plus, neither you nor Hannah told me about the adoption."

"I didn't mention it because it wasn't my place to tell you about it. Once I figured out the truth at the Academy, I understood why the Darrow's didn't want anyone to know. Like you said, a secret like that is easier to keep if as few people as possible know about it."

* * *

Sometime between midnight and one am, Spencer crawled into bed next to Hannah, very careful not to wake her. It didn't work. She rolled over and tossed an arm over his chest, then pulled him in close and whispered just above his shoulder.

"What did you and Aaron have to say to each other about the adoption?"

"He was surprised I never said anything when I figured it out during our first Christmas, but he was more surprised that he had never seen it himself."

"He didn't believe me at first, but it didn't take much to convince him."

"The genetic evidence alone is enough proof."

"It is. Goodnight Spencer." Hannah said as she kissed him on the corner of the mouth then settled in right next to him.

As he watched her fall back to sleep, looking peaceful for the first time after spilling her secret, Spencer wondered how long he and Hotch should, or even could, keep the truth about her birth father from her. Assuming she didn't already know. Spencer didn't believe for a second that she didn't already know the truth.


End file.
